Diary – Giving away my secrets!

Thursday 22nd September 2022

We all have those blank moments, when we are unsure of what we are doing.

We all loose our train of thought.

We all occasionally find it hard to find a word or even loose where we are in a conversation

For me my words are disappearing more and more now. I have more long pauses in conversations.

It’s that trying to explain something, that is becoming more difficult.

When I’m reading from rehearsed script, I seem to be fine, it’s the off the cuff conversation that I now find so difficult

The other day I was in conversation with my next door neighbour, he asked which way hubby travels to work. I started off explaining directions, then found myself getting so confused.

I didn’t realise I had given him the wrong directions until he questioned me.

Realising, I was in fact directing him to the park!

The park of course is one of my favourite places to visit. I wonder if thats why I gave him those directions? Who knows!

Trying to correct myself, I got into a bit of a muddle.

In the end I just said “ I don’t really think I’m the best person to ask” Trying to laugh it off.

Underneath I was feeling quite embarrassed, I couldn’t remember the names of landmarks, like the pub on the corner of the road or the roundabout or junction, or the road names. All the names had completely disappeared!

Dementia is an expert at taking things it’s a sneaky thief!

I find myself agreeing or nodding my head in conversations now.

I think it’s away of trying to cover up my lack of understanding.

If I look interested, I think people will assume I have understood or I know what they are talking about.

Not always the case!

I think I’m getting quite good at covering up and changing the subject!

Whoops I think I may have just given my secret away!

3 thoughts on “Diary – Giving away my secrets!

  1. I finished my degree later in life and was forced to take a French conversation class. It had been almost 20 years since I had barely made it through my French classes in high school. Our final exam was to meet the professor alone for a conversation. I still couldn’t understand any French, so I went in and just babbled until the time was over. I saw by his face that he knew exactly what I was doing. (He passed me anyway.)
    Our families and friends, many of whom just can’t deal with what we are going through, are often like that. They know we haven’t a clue but are grateful that we know how to pretend so that they can pretend as well.

    Liked by 1 person

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