Diary – Time for a Break

Wednesday 21st December 2022

It’s time for me to have a little break,

Reset, reflect and refocus

Clear my head

Rethink, recharge and remind

To pause and listen to my heart

Remind myself the mind and body is incredible.

Life is precious.

Don’t overdo things, step back for a while.

Lets stop telling each other how busy we are

Just Pause and Relax

🎄Wishing Everyone A Very Merry Christmas 🎄

Diary – Freezing!

Tuesday 20th December 2022

Last weekend brought the freezing cold weather , not only was I feeling a little deflated…Now I can’t get out for my morning walk.

Overnight had brought freezing temperatures causing lots of black ice on our roads.

As I have a bad hip, I thought it was best to stay indoors, not wanting to risk a fall as me and hospitals don’t go together!

Saturday is always an early morning walk then a baking day, so it seemed strange to baking before 9am, normally I’m still outdoors with nature to entertain me.

Today I had to watch nature from the comfort of my own home.

The sleety rain was bitterly cold, as it hit the roads and pavement it was instantly turning to ice.

The birds looked so sad as they sat on chimney pots trying to keep warm

The sleet eventually stopped, but they grey skies remained. Lots of little birds visited our garden for food that day.

Sparrows, Robins, Blackbird, Starlings, Jackdaws, always a pigeon or two, three or four!

Oh and I can’t leave out Steven Segall whom sits on the roof of our garage/ craft room, guarding what he thinks is his domain.

The birds in garden did distract me somewhat, so baking took a little longer than expected!

Eventually baking is resumed.

Saturday was spent indoors, which kind of throws me out of sync. Walking, taking photos just being outdoors with nature passes so much of my time, when that is disrupted, my whole world feels strange.

Sunday was the perfect winters day…well I thought it was when looking through the window.

Clear blue skies the dusting of snow glistening on the foliage, it was beautiful.

We decided as the pathways looked a little slippery a beach walk would be the best. Hubby drove me and Toby down to Fleetwood beach…I couldn’t wait to be outdoors.

But what a surprise when we arrived, there must have been a hail storm overnight and the roads and car park where like glass, never have we seen it like this not so close to the beach

We parked up, opened the car door to step out side ….oh my goodness standing was so difficult it was that slippery.

We managed to get to the grass verge which leads us on to the beach, hubby laughing at me as I tentatively attempt some sort of walk.

The beach was bitterly cold, but such a beautiful morning surrounded us with blue sky and so many sea birds

There is a shingle island that has started to form out at sea just off the coast of Fleetwood and to my surprise when I zoomed in with my camera I could see so many Cormorants…never have I ever seen so many it was amazing! Totally shocked at the numbers, I just kept looking through the lens of my camera in disbelief just to check they where all still there.

The black specks are cormorants

We watched as more and more arrived .

Sorry the photos aren’t very clear, they where around 1.6 miles away

We eventually move and walk down the beach. Toby in his element as he runs through the puddles created by the craters of sand on the beach.

There was a chilly bite in the air as my fingers start to feel the brunt of the cold from taking lots of photos.

Toby was now wet and cold too, it was definitely time to head back to the car.

Not without taking a few more photos our way

Love the different seabirds that are out and about today.

We say goodbye to the beach as we walk towards the very slippery carpark. A little stonechat darts in front of us, too quick for me to get a clear shot., plus I’m concentrating on keeping my feet firmly on the floor.

A lovely bright walk, now time to warm up indoors with a hot drink.

Diary – Try something new

Monday 19th December 2022

I do like to try out different crafts and ideas.

Some work, some don’t.

It’s all about the fun of trying, I don’t get discouraged or disheartened if I can’t quite get the hang of something.

Somethings are just not meant to be.

That’s when I just go right back to the things I can do!

I think after the last few weeks of crafting to raise funds for the dementia film Sundown. It gave me inspiration to do a little crafting again.

I think it was also to kill the boredom of the football! Which Seriously threw my routine out of sink, by changing all the tv program times.

Anyway I decided to try something different. After lots of messing about trying this that and the other. I created this little hanging decoration with the soft toy sat in a heart holding balloons ( baubles used to create the balloons)

I love to create I think it’s in my blood

But if I’m honest, I’m always slightly nervous when producing a piece of art for someone else. I question myself…Am I good enough? Will they like my work?

Above are the Pebble i created for the DEEP Celebrations

I’m currently producing a piece of art work for an Opera (sorry that piece I can’t reveal just yet )

Below are a couple of pieces I produced for the Yorkshire Ambulance Service

When I look back through my photos / memories. I surprised myself on how many sketches and paintings I had actually done.

Then a memory came up on Facebook the other day.

My memory was of a Doe that I sketched last year, which sort of inspired me to sketch again.

So the pencils came out!

Seen as it’s Christmas, I thought I would have a go at sketching a Stag.

I started at 4am in the morning when I couldn’t sleep.

A couple of hours later I had a Stag staring back at me!

I like to test my boundaries…I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but I’m hopeful it will keeps my brain going!

Diary – The First Frost

Thursday 15th December 2022

The cold weather has descended.

Winter woolies are out.

Car windscreens are frozen, Jack Frost is about!

On Wednesday 7th December Hubby woke me with a cup of tea “ There is going to be a beautiful sunrise”

I rub my eyes and lift my head from my cosy pillow…Sunrise!

Instantly I move, a little wobbly as I make my way down the hallway to the bathroom.

I look out the window with excitement, the glow of colour is starting to develop. Pinks, lilac, orange, yellow all blending together.

The rooftops are silhouettes, the chimney pots stand tall and proud, puffs of smoke gently dispersing into the cold morning air.

The sounds of birds as they wake, gulls taking over the choir with their loud cawing. My early morning alarm call!

We set off on our morning adventure, the cold air bitingly cold, breath like steam coming from our mouths.

It’s so cold even Toby has his coat on this morning!

He runs through the frosty grass, hopping about like a spring lamb, he was so funny!

I see an Egret flying in the pink sky, I was astonished when he landed in a tree

I’m so used to seeing them at the sides of our river banks watching for fish…it just looked so out of character. Then again we have had Egrets on the beach this year!

As the sky turns to a deep fiery orange, silhouettes start to appear.

My favourite part of the day

The sounds of birds waking, the calmness that wraps around you, the beauty right before your very eyes, watching as a new day comes alive.

I feel so great full to be able to witness such beauty.

On mornings like this I just get swept along. As I am drawn in and carried off to a wonderful calming place, a place where dementia is not thought of.

My focus is on the beauty of my surroundings and the movement of nature.

Been out for way over an hour when the frost is starting to bite at our fingers and toes, become numb, yet painful.

I think is time to head off home for a hot drink.

Funny how you forget the pain when still clicking away with the camera trying to capture the moment of such beauty.

As we head off back towards the car, the sun bright and warming casting shadows

Who’s that Scottie Dog!

It’s Toby! Whom is busy watching squirrels jumping from the tree branches, far to quick for me to capture a photo.

Then I see something fly quite smoothly before landing.

Catching my eye, I stop and observe for a while, scanning and listening. A very quiet tap, I zoom in with my camera…Yes!

A Woodpecker

This little guy is one very active woodpecker as he runs around the tree, clinging on to the tree bark with his claws making it difficult for me to capture a clear shot

A few clicks of the camera and he’s off…Destination Oak Tree, disappearing only to be heard and not seen.

Time to go!

Whoops another distraction!

The Egret is on the river bank but I really need a hot cup of tea!

Diary – The Covid Bus

Wednesday 14th December 2022

I had missed my scheduled booster injection due to contracting covid, so when the time came for me to be able to have my booster they where no longer any appointments available at my local doctors.

I was advised to find a walk in centre.

After searching the internet, I realised there was a covid bus which travels around, lucky for me it’s on our local Morrisons Carpark Saturday 26th November.

I wrote the date in my diary and also on my things to do list to remind me.

Saturday came and i had forgotten all about the covid bus, well until I looked at my things to do list.

As I was baking at the time, I finish off my baking, had lunch then set off to find the Covid Bus.

At the carpark where it was located, i was surprised how quiet it was. There was no one around only the staff administering the injections.

A little different to last year when we where all queuing round the block to receive our injections.

A smiley friendly man opened the doors to the bus asked how old I was.

I replied 57 or is it 58, sometimes I’m 54!

Who cares about age! When you have dementia!

I tell him my date of birth, with a smile on my face.

After a couple more questions, he showed me onto the bus.

Very clean and very well organised.

A credit to the health service.

I was very impressed.

Over the past couple of weeks I have had a mammogram, my cardiovascular check, my flu injection and now my covid booster.

I’m still waiting on an appointment to see my doctor regarding my driving assessment which I have contacted, 3 possibly 4 times now. Still no appointment!

Think my doctors needs to get a bus!

Diary – Deep Celebrations, Deep Symphony

Tuesday 13th December 2022

I’m not one for lots of zooms but this last week has had to be an exception.

Monday 5th December was the start of the Deep 10 year celebrations.

A full week of Zooms…A DEEP Festival of Zooms!

A full week of fun, laughter, virtual hugs and tears as we reflect together.

The opening celebration was launched by Jane Garvey, a very informal start ‘What is DEEP?’

Jane is a very well-known British radio presenter, who joined ‘The 4 Amigos’

What an honour to be there at the opening of the Deep celebrations with my fellow Amigos.

We opened the session at 10.15am, lots of people joining.

The ping ping sound as people enter the meeting room.

That’s when the excitement starts to build. I make sure all notes are in order.

my “ I want to speak” card is at hand, pen paper and of course, my cup of tea in my “Deep Mug”

We are off the Amigos ride again!

Lots of questions, lots of answers, most of it a blur now.

I still remember the feelings that bubbled up inside…Happiness, joy, proud and emotional.

So many feelings!

Deep has been a big part of my life for around 3 years now.

As I listen to others speak, it makes me reflect and realise just how much ‘Deep’ has been there to support.

One of the questions Jane asked me was about my friends…

My reply was…I now only have 1 original friend that keeps in touch.

People always find my answer sad, to be truthful, it is their loss!

On a more positive note…I have new friends now, which is a totally different kind of friendship, a deeper stronger friendship within the DEEP network, whom I can trust, who bring warmth, hugs and belonging.

I must say I felt a little sad when the screen ended and turned blank.

I hold the joy in my heart of the opening celebration with fellow Deepers

What an honour.

There have been many zooms over the week to celebrate DEEP 10 years.

Unfortunately due to me struggling with zooms and trying to fit them in to my diary, I was unable to attend every one.

Those zooms I did attend, I found they raised every single emotion possible.

The last zoom on Friday left me quite sad.

The Deep Symphony was a very moving piece of music with 85 individual voices of people living with dementia

What an end to a celebratory week

I hope the DEEP has a long future supporting those whom live with dementia.

Happy 10th Birthday DEEP 🎉

If you would like to find out more about DEEP please click the link below


Diary – More Crafts

Monday 12th December 2022

On the 1st of December me and Hubby head off to see family.

I had been working in my craft room for the previous 3 days making Christmas cards for my daughter to sell, as the last batch I had made all sold in a day!

Crikey …didn’t expect that!

Bonus I can now donate more of the funds to the Sundown crowd funding. That’s £100 donated from selling crafts 😊

It has been hard at times trying to fit everything in, but I got there in the end.!

Our first stop is to drop off the box of cards with my daughter. Unfortunately she is working today so it will only be a quick hello until our next meet before Christmas.

We fuelled up with brunch then on to our next stop, hubby’s dad.

There we help out with a spot of present wrapping, a quick catch up before moving on to my parents house.

Our last stop was just a quick drop off of Christmas cards at my daughter Vikki’s

Time to head off home down the motorway after a long day!

Beautiful sky leads the way home

I can now remove my mask and relax as dementia takes over my head…here comes the fuzz!

Home in the comfort of my own home.

Hubby collects a chippy tea and sorts everything out that needs to be done.

Me…I’m in a bit of a fog!

Diary – Misty and Eerie

Thursday 8th December 2022

I wake to a very foggy morning on the 29th November.

Could be an interesting morning with my camera.

I didn’t realise just how thick the fog was until I stepped out of the door.

With visibility poor the road is illuminated with white and red lights from passing cars.

I reach Skippool which is just surrounded by the misty fog

There is a definite chill in the air. It’s like a scene from Sherlock Homes.

An eerieness surrounds as we walk through the graveyard of old boats and wreckages.

Not a person in sight, only the sounds of the geese as they fly over head.

We squelched our way through the mud and puddles, looking and listening as we go.

A few photos of Toby as he watches birds flitting in and out of the trees

The misty morning thickens…No sunrise today!

The mist and fog lends a different backdrop for capturing photos

Time to get Arty Farty! As I call it!

Things look so different in different lights

The same view on a different day, with a different backdrop

After standing for a while listening to the sounds of nature I’m feeling the cold, the ends of my fingers feeling quite numb, we head off in the direction of home.

Funny how I forget my numb fingers, especially as I get distracted by the cobwebs and the moss, which now has collected tiny droplets of moisture like little diamonds glistening in the light

A little further down the road I see a Redshank quickly running across the muddy banking. I quickly capture a shot

As the Redshank is picking up speed, I spot something beyond, something white…it is it’s an Egret!

Woops I didn’t know there was a car creeping up behind me on the narrow road, more like a track than a road really.

That startled me…I jump putting my hand up, miming the word sorry.

Woo someone is in a grumpy old mood … A VERY Grumpy face looking at me through the car windscreen…Woops

I really need to be more careful as I don’t hear things the same now, especially when distracted…it’s like the whole world goes quiet.

I think I better put my camera away and head off home!

Diary – What’s the Point

Wednesday 7th December 2022

Some times when I am talking with people that know I have dementia, I get the feeling they are not listening to me or taking my conversations seriously.

Is it because I have dementia, everything I say is utter rubbish!

I can tell with their facial expressions that they are not really listening

Then again some just cut my conversation short, and carry on with what they want to say.

This is the feeling of being ignored.

The feeling of confusion, anger, indifference, helplessness, deep sadness.

Feeling overwhelmed by these emotions, I eventually think of myself as unworthy at times.

Being ignored is like being bullied in a way as it affects the way I feel, leaving me very empty and worthless and feeling rejected.

If I am being ignored it results in me become less cooperative with the person who is ignoring me…basically creates a great big crack in between us.

The way I see it is, Its all about respect and if people can’t be respectful they don’t deserve my time…

People should not presume that just because I live with dementia I’m not capable of holding a conversation, I might stutter and stumble on my words sometime, but I can communicate, if you just give me time and allow my brain to work.

I try not to use the D word when speaking to someone whom doesn’t know I have Dementia.

It is also very interesting to watch how they change if I do mention I have dementia.

The one place I never feel ignored is when I am in the company of like minded people, people that are also living with dementia.

I must say DEEP have always been good with respecting my needs and allowing me to speak, listening to what is needed to assist.

STIGMA still plays a big part in how people look upon and talk to people living with Dementia.

Diary – Its Beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Tuesday 6th December 2022

I can not believe where this year has gone, time seems to pass so quickly these days.

It doesn’t seem 2 minutes since Christmas 2021, now we are back in December…Christmas 2022 is upon us!

The Christmas decorations are out for another year as I go through the boxes of baubles with excitement.

I am always so enthusiastic about putting up the decorations, I love the sparkle, the trimming and designing of the Christmas tree.

Standing back and admiring the sparkly tree with precision placed baubles and branches…I just love it!

I have found it harder this year as my fingers are loosing there nimbleness, not good with fiddly things, I’m finding this when crafting now, bows are beginning to be a bit of a pain!

I started to trim up on Thursday 24th November, when hubby helped get the large tree out of the loft.

Assembling the tree is enough for one day! Every branch has to inserted into a colour coordinated slot…very painstaking!

Out come the baubles and lights, forgotten just how many lights there are to wrap around the tree. I am a perfectionist when it comes to the positioning. Turning the lights on and off as I go, trying my best to get them evenly spaced.

The day after it was the smaller tree, a much easier tree to erect. Just messier as the artificial snow and glitter that coat the branches always ends up all over everything!

Saturday was finishing off all the little bits and bobs, Christmas displays on tables and cupboards.

Then the big switch on, on Sunday

Next is just a few decorations for outside as I dress the door, put a wreath up and our sparkly outdoor tree which we made ourselves

Thought I would finish my blog today with a track from Elton John and Ed Sheeran.