Diary

Friday 2nd of July 2021

A quick update – My Dad is back at home, spoke to him on the phone and he is ok, very tired but ok. 😊

Today I feel a little empty, I sit looking at my iPad thinking of how to start the days diary / blog with an empty kind of feeling. I go to Twitter to post one of my sketches, I open the page to add …then close it …just can’t be bothered. I have a zoom meeting this morning and I feel exactly the same. I don’t know if I want to be doing all this activist stuff…I’m just little old Gail who likes the quiet kinda life now. Likes to be out with my camera and just chilling in my craft room. I have had too many years of being busy and look where that got me!

Probably just a bad day, probably just tired, probably just not thinking logically today, which does happen, quite a lot!

My logical thinking of looking at situations is a definite zilch this morning, all I can thinking is why bother! Why do I tire myself out, writing pieces for others, putting myself under pressure to hit deadlines, putting me and my brain into a frenzy…result fog! Oh I don’t know grrr I can’t think straight today!

Off to the Nature Reserve with Toby, let’s see if nature can calm me down, possibly bring logical thinking back.

I have a busy morning, this something I do resent now.

I feel like I am back at work sometimes and the pressure of attending meetings, which gets to me occasionally, I do have other things to attend to, including the upheaval of the extension. I am certainly not as quick or as organised as I used to be which slightly stresses me out. No matter how many times I say I need to cut back, things seem to slowly creep back.

Then I think Why! As I sit listening to the same thing. People have been campaigning for better support for people with Dementia for years and years. Still the campaigning goes on. Do I want to be campaigning saying the same things over and over again in 10 years time! My answer is No!

I join the morning meeting. Again I keep saying 1 hour maximum! The meetings goes on longer…I’m not understanding, words start sounding garbled, I don’t understand half of what is being said! Lost all concentration! Do I really need to keep putting myself through this! No!

I am now faced with a hard decision!

Carry on or finish!

I had a very strange encounter this afternoon. I had fallen asleep, well I think I was asleep. It was like my head was clicking like an old cinema film, the ones that flickered when played. Snippets of drawings, photos, my life. They all flicked through my head, my mind. I must have been asleep as I couldn’t open my eyes…weird!

Saturday 3rd July 2021

Toby wakes me just after 4am, no idea what for, but he soon got sent back to bed! The next time I wake it’s 5.40am.

I reach for my phone, everything is blurry…whoops no glasses. Pop on my glasses still no better! Check I have the right glasses, I really don’t know what is going on with my eyes. I go to the bathroom…everything blurry as I try to read the shampoo bottle.

I sort the dogs out, make a cup of tea and slowly but surely my sight is back!…Must have been far too early for my eyes!

A quick walk to the beach this morning, as I’m off to visit my Dad and I like to set off early. 8am and I’m on the road heading for Burnley first to see my daughter and family for just a quick visit.

What a welcome as my grandson comes running towards me with his pants round his ankles shouting “Grandma” he had jumped off the toilet when he heard me arrive. We did laugh! The youngest grandson not far behind with arms out, wanting me to pick him up. So plenty of cuddles before I left for my other daughters.

My next set of grandsons are much older so they don’t come running anymore, they have computer games and tablets…I can’t compete with technology!

I did get a little attention on the door step and they was pleased to see me. Unfortunately only a brief visit, one grandson is in isolation, so no hugs and kisses and keeping a good distance. Everyone is ok, it’s just someone in his class tested positive a week ago.

Next my Parents and big hugs all round, I spend a good few hours, boy we had a laugh listening to my Dad reminiscing about when he was in the forces. We also laughed about Mr Crap…long story…Wrong name on the invoice of purchase they made!

A very enjoyable visit, think all 3 of us enjoyed ourselves.

Back home safe and sound, I sit sketching for a while before it’s time for tea.

Sunday 3rd July 2021

I wake at 5am get up sort the dogs out then decide I am exhausted and head off back to bed, which is not like me. Visiting always takes it out of me. It’s always worth it though!

7.45am I next wake so I must have been tired, I had the most weirdest dream. Phil and Holly where visiting me and we went out for drinks…How random is that! It was a very jumbled up dream, lots of other things jumping into my dream, an old house, a magician, Manchester, a kiosk. All so weird…what was that was all about! That’s my head a jumbled up mess!

Me and hubby are out for our morning walk about 9.30am, I love the beach when it’s quiet.

Home from the beach, hubby starts on the build and I do a quick vac around and update my blog. Then I’m on weeding patrol around the outside of the garden.

It’s overcast today, but so very warm, the sky is looking a little darker in places. Then after lunch we have an almighty downpour for 10 / 15 mins, just long enough to flood the build

Lucky we have a pump to pump the water out and within 10 minutes all clear again, Hubby back building? No as it’s been an afternoon of showers. Me, well I’m in my craft room!