Friday 17th September 2021

As we all wait for out taxis to take us to Birmingham New Street Station, there is a problem. The taxis are running really late. Rachel is frantically trying to sort everything out so that we get to our trains on time.

Me I am panicking inside as the time passes, 2pm…2.15pm…2.30pm still no taxi and my train is at 3.15pm!

Rachel has introduced me to Michelle who will be boarding the same train. I am relieved as Birmingham train station is massive and so confusing.

Michelle can see I’m panicking and tries her best to distract me. At 2.40pm the taxi arrives. I go into repeat mode…quick…quick…quick as we load suitcases into the taxi, the driver was so lovely and tried everything possible to get us all to the train station on time, unfortunately a road traffic accident near the station so the quick thinking taxi driver took a detour.

He gave us lots of information of nearby attractions, not that I can remember any…oh Pebble Mill…we passed where Pebble Mill used to be filmed.

I keep looking at my watch. 3.10pm the taxi stops and he points us in the direction of the station. No time for good byes with Liz who was sharing our taxi, me and Michelle just ran with our cases following closely behind.

Inside I could see the screens illuminated with all the different destinations and just spotted Blackpool platform 6…how the hell I spotted it I will never know, familiar word perhaps.

We are off again running trying to find the entrance the glass door was locked, a passerby pointed that we need to be on the other side and go down the escalator. We quickly sped off.

Now I am struggling, I’m tired confused and there is an escalator going down! No! I hate them!

Michelle shouts “can any one help I have a lady with dementia that needs assistance “ A young man takes my case down the escalator for me. There at the bottom of the escalator is the train just getting ready to pull away…we jump on the train, not really sure if it’s the right one.

With adrenaline pumping it’s like we are on a high. The carriage door opens and people slowly turn and look at us both, it was a look of disapproval…we where a little hyper and out of breath from running through a maze of people, trying to find away through the glass panels to get to our platform.

Me and Michelle look at one another and suddenly realised the carriage is first class…whoops …I apologise, going into my repetitive state…sorry, sorry, sorry, I am slightly confused and we need carriage F. A lady points us both in the direction we need to go.

We walk through the first class carriage, with me apologising when passing any of the passengers.

Through the automatic doors, we wait near the toilet area while the train stabilises, it’s a little to wobbly for me to move at the moment as the train twists and turns out of the station. Once the train has stabilised we make our way to our seats.

Oh my goodness it is so busy, the carriage is packed like sardines, the noise level is high too. Children crying, screaming, people talking very loud, quite unnerving, I think a little alcohol had been consumed. Michelle was concerned for me, she could see I was a little on edge.

Michelle tells me not to move then she disappears down the carriage.

5 minutes later she returns with a man, can’t remember his title…He was very accommodating and escorted us both into 1st class making sure we where comfortable. Once comfy with cup of tea in hand he collected our suitcases. The rest of our journey was a more relaxing experience, thanks to Michelle for sorting everything out for me.

I arrive at Blackpool Station on time and can’t wait to get home.

I think I was missed, Hubby welcomed me with flowers not one bunch but three.

A smile from Toby and a very waggy Charlie!

Good to be home, feels like I have been away for ages!

I wake only once during the night, well I think it was only once. I look at my phone 6.30am, my head feels full, heavy and fuzzy …No not today! It my last day at Woodbrooke!

I also hate travelling when my head is fuzzy, makes me feel nauseous with the movement.

I get myself dressed, camera round my neck …a walk will do me good. My walk this morning feels strange no Toby by my side, I walk down the corridor forgetting my face mask, about turn…back to my room. Mask now in place I set off again, I reach the curved staircase with the tiny steps…woah as I grab the rail, that was a close, nearly fell down the stairs yet again! I hate stairs!

Outside I see Dori sat on a bench, we say good morning and I take myself off for a stroll around Woodbrooke grounds

So many beautiful things to see it’s like a garden of hidden treasures, all you have to do is look and you will find.

I just loved the little boat house situated in the Chinese garden, it was like entering an enchanted fairy garden, overlooking the pond, where the trees and plants surrounded, making a secret place…a special place

A Robin land quite close on a tree branch, but I’m not quick enough to capture moving birds this morning, then a tiny wren appears. I’m frantically pressing the button on my camera, struggling with the focus and trying to keeping the camera steady, I manage to capture. Not the best quality but I know the wren was there.

I move on around the grounds through trees, gates down pathways into the forest, listening to the rustle of the trees. I pass the campfire that others have sat around, singing and toasting marshmallows…Unfortunately no campfire for our group, I don’t think there was enough staff to supervise this year.

I make my way to the walled garden for a last look at the beautiful flowers and fresh produce that is grown on site

Nearly back at the main building I see an archway and have to take a look as I haven’t been through there.

Gardens behind gates and arches, always remind me of the film / book…The Secret Garden. I love the fact that I don’t know what is there until I open the gate or walk through…so exciting!

Back to my room still feeling rubbish, because I’m not at home I think it’s affecting me more as I don’t know what to do with myself. I bump into Philly on the corridor, think I was a little confused and tearful, Philly escorts me to back to my room. Where I rest for a while before heading down for breakfast. I decide food might make me feel a little better, so off I go to the dining area.

Walls to guide me on my way. I reach the stairs, slowly does it. Handrail to stabilise as I approach sideways, one step at a time. I make it into the dining room, everything I do is slowly…I’m definitely in slow motion today.

I sit with my breakfast…well I think I did…Haven’t got a clue who I sat with, don’t even know if I ate my breakfast…did I even have breakfast? I know I went back to my room, where I must have fallen asleep.

Around 2 hours later, starting to feel a little more human, I pack my suitcase, take one last look out of my bedroom window at Woodbrooke gardens before going to the dining room for a cup of tea and hopefully meeting up with the others.

Philly finds me in the conservatory and we chat for a while.

It has been absolutely fabulous getting to know more about the people that I have zoomed with for the past 2 years.

Just amazing! I feel like I do have a connection now we have met.

We head off back to the meeting room for one last time, where we look at each other’s pebbles we had painted during our time at Woodbrooke. We share poems we had written whilst sitting in the beautiful grounds.

You can listen to me read the poem below

My time spent at woodbrooke has created many emotions and feelings. One thing that I hope I won’t forget, is the wonderful people I have met, just so friendly, so helpful, so caring, so inspiring.

How would I describe my time at woodbrooke.

Wonderful

Optimistic

Outstanding

Delightfull

Beneficial

Rewarding

Obliging

Opportunity

Knowledgeable

Encouraging

I can’t thank DEEP enough for inviting me and giving me the opportunity

Thank you

I didn’t sleep very well at all, strange room with strange shadows, I opened the curtains so I could watch the night sky and the beautiful moon that was playing hide ‘n’ seek behind the clouds. I must have fallen asleep after 1am as 1am was the last time I looked at my watch.

Awake early, sometime after 5am. I tiptoe around my room so not to disturb others as I don’t know if the people that are in the next rooms can hear me.

It is very strange not having a tv in the room, then again I was glad of the piece and quiet, I look out at the early morning sky awaking from the darkness…The darkness changing to lighter shades slowly until a grey blue colour appears with a tinge of pink where the sun is rising. It’s gonna be a beautiful day!

I now decide I can leave my room and go for a walk around the gardens. This is strange…alone no lead in hand…No Toby for company, the only thing that is normal about this morning is the camera placed around my neck.

There is a carpet of mist just hovering over the ground

As I walk around the woods the mist lifts to reveal a beautiful day

I head off for breakfast just after 8am, which is full English this morning, then at 9.15am day 2 of the Deep Gathering begins

9.30am Philly, Dori and myself are talking about crafts and craftivism. I have never spoken in front of people…or perhaps I have on the odd occasions, my speaking is mainly done via zoom. Standing up in front of a room full of people is a little different to sitting talking to a computer screen.

Another hurdle…another achievement.

We had people talking on different subjects, we broke off into groups to try different things. We tried poetry, walks talking about plants and nature

Brain health and Tai Chi

Lunch was always around 12.30pm and was far too much for me to eat, I’m only used to a sandwich or jacket potato…not a full on meal. I found the quantity of food over facing. The quality and produce was excellent…I’m just fussy…give me a plain sandwich or roast dinner I’m happy.

There was always hot and cold drinks available, fruit, biscuits any time of the day. The staff where so polite and helpful. The rooms and the main areas where kept clean, it was just lovely.

Thursday afternoon I was in the poetry group and we had to write a daisy chain poem.

Daisy Chain Poem: The last word in the line becomes the first word of the next line.

After the relaxing poem session in the beautiful grounds of woodbrooke we have a group chat to share our poems, then off to relax before our evening meal at 6pm, which gives me time to face time Hubby and Toby and have a shower.

I meet Dori and Stacey for dinner, after we have eaten we have a walk to the Bournville Lake. It’s gorgeous, we just sit watching the world go by.

A couple of blokes arrive with their model boats, so we watch for a while as they play like children.

We head off back to Woodbrooke, I’m now feeling drained after a busy day so I retire to bed, whilst others go to watch the new channel 4 drama Help.

Help is set in a fictional Liverpool care home 2020, and tells the moving story of the relationship between a young care home worker, Sarah and man called Tony who is living with young-onset Alzheimer’s, both of whose lives are changed forever by the coronavirus pandemic.

As I look through the window I grab my camera for one last photo of the moon at woodbrooke. I lift the lens…reflection through the windows…click. A double moon or that’s how it seems…Night!

My first hurdle was travelling alone.

1. I have not been on a train for….well since I was small child I think!

2. Never gone anywhere without hubby, well not until a couple of weeks ago when I had an overnight stay near my family.

This is quite an ordeal for me, oh and yes I have Alzheimer’s

The packing of my suitcase was an ordeal in itself, things going in, things coming out…it was a bit like a magicians box where the scarves are constantly coming out of the box. I had lists! Then more lists!

The weather decided to change, so did the clothes in my suitcase…the uncertainty! In the end I gave up shut the case. I though it is what it is. It will be fine!

I was so nervous. Me and the bathroom became good friends, spending lots of time together before the taxi arrived.

A text arrived to say the taxi was here, I look outside no taxi…Then all at once he appears around the corner, my stomach dropped…This is it, it’s really happening…this is the start of my new adventure!

I arrive at the train station and check in with assistance travel, who I must say where excellent at Blackpool train station.

On the train and still nervous…we’ll this is another accomplishment living with my sidekick Alzheimer’s.

Train journey was going well until like was approached by a couple telling me I was in the wrong seat. I move as I don’t like confrontation.

I later find out it wasn’t me that was wrong it was them…they where on the wrong train!

I had purchased headphones which where extremely helpful as they cut out all the background noise, they are amazing. So with relaxing music from Eva Cassidy and the beautiful countryside I was starting to relax a little.

The train announcements kept making me jump, but everything seems to make me jump nowadays.

I arrive at Birmingham, struggle off the narrow walk way through the train with suitcase and small backpack, I make it off the train where assistance travel tried to guide me off the platform.

I explain or try too…that I have been told to stand still and wait for Philly who is meeting me on the platform. I then see Philly frantically waving heading towards me down the platform. Relief!

I can not believe I have actually made the journey. A welcome hug from Philly, I am completely overwhelmed as my eyes leak. Nearly 2 years of zoom…the square box on a computer screen…only heads and shoulders to be seen.

This is now real, a real person whom has legs…Wow this is so strange as we already sort of know one another, but never actually met…this feeling is so weird!

Philly takes my case and leads me to the main part of the station where there are others waiting…oh my goodness it’s Anna and Damian, then Liz turns up. Goodness me this is all very overwhelming…I have never ever felt like this before…it’s crazy, mad, unbelievably strange but in a good way.

We are all in our taxis, chitter chattering away as the outside world just flashes past. I haven’t got a clue where we are apart from Birmingham of course. Then before I know it the taxi pulls into Woodbrooke grounds.

Woodbrooke is a Grade II listed Georgian manor house in the area of Selly Oak, Birmingham.

Woodbrooke was founded in 1903 and was the vision of George Cadbury and John Wilhelm Rowntree. Woodbrooke is based in the former family home of the local chocolate maker, George Cadbury.

Woodbrooke is surrounded by beautiful gardens and is truly is idyllic.

Philly shows me to my room to drop of my bags. We then head off to the dining room for lunch before we have a welcome meet and greet and the aims of the Deep gathering .

At around 3pm we have a break and I’m slowly feeling the effects of the whole day as my head starts to fuzz a little, Philly takes me back to my room where I chill for a while, so I take myself off for a relaxing walk around the grounds.

Feeling more at home outside with Nikon and Nature I begin to relax and come too.

6pm everyone starts entering the dining are for their evening meal. Food was in abundance…far to much for little me to eat, the portions where massive!

After we had eaten a few of us wandered around the gardens, Dori was my guide as she had visited woodbrooke before, I also knew Dori from Zoomettes, crafting and of course the 4 Amigos, boy we had some laughs which put me at ease. You never know if you will get along with someone or if they will even like you when you meet in person. Oh I think we got along just fine, helping each other around the maze of corridors.

I must say Philly had made everything so much easier, she had placed notices and directions to each persons room around the hotel. Which was such a big help.

The stairs where a bit of a nightmare, going up them is ok, it’s coming down that’s the problem…sideways was the way for me! After nearly falling down a couple of times, grabbing the handrail to steady my footing.

I think I retired to my room around 8pm exhausted from the day of many, many different emotions.

Part 2 of Woodbrooke tomorrow.

Friday 17th September 2021

I wake this morning with a fuzzy head. Now feeling emotional as it the last day at woodbrooke and I really don’t want to miss anything.

I get dressed which takes me longer than usual as I’m constantly looking for things…find things…loose things. It that good old game of hide ‘n’ seek!

I set off down the corridor and realise I have forgotten my face mask, I turn back towards my room constantly telling myself “ pull yourself together Gail” “come on you can do this”

Eventually I am out with my camera heading towards the beautiful grounds of woodbrooke. As I step outside, I see Dori sat on one of the benches…we say good morning and I head off for my walk. I see others on my way back who invite me to Ti chi. Gail wants to but my sidekick has other ideas.

I head back to my room bumping into Philly on the corridor, she escorts me to my room where I rest for a while.

I do manage to go for breakfast but can’t eat very much and return to my room to rest.

I miss the first part of the morning itinerary, can’t really remember which order everything was as I was a little mixed up. I think it would possibly be around 10.30am when I headed back down to the restaurant, nearly falling down the stairs on my way.

My fuzzy head is lifting slightly, so now a little easier, not half as bad as it was earlier. I make a cup of tea and sit in the conservatory quiet and alone. Philly joins me for a while and then I rejoin the group for the last few hours before we leave.

Emotions running high… it’s been a wonderful experience. I will tell you much more about Woodbrooke next week.

Saturday 18th September 2021

I arrived back in my own home around 5.45pm with 3 lovely bunches of flowers waiting for me…think I have been missed

What a lovely surprise.

I didn’t sleep well as I was still on a high from the travel back and nearly missing the train due to heavy Friday traffic, then I couldn’t find my glasses, thought maybe I had left them at woodbrooke…found them later, but still couldn’t settle.

Trying to get back to my routine. Who would have thought a couple of days away would throw me off track, I just can’t seem to get my routine flowing, I’m a bit all over the place today, all our meals have been one hour behind our usual eating time…everything feels a little weird.

Toby has definitely missed me…bless him. Just before I set off for Woodbrooke I left a pair of socks out in my bedroom on the chair and my dressing gown. I knew he would take them, he doesn’t chew them it’s just a comfort for him. When I go out for a long period of time without him he frets a little…we are best buddies! Leaving things around that belong to me with my smell all over them I hoped would help him.

I noticed yesterday that my socks are now being carried all over the house with him, from basket to basket, bless him!

Sunday 19th September 2021

I slept well last night…which I very much needed. Woke just after 6.30am, the weather is fine and dry, no heavy rain like they forecast, which is a bonus. All four of us out for a walk to the beach…the usual stone play for Charlie and water play for Toby, while I just capture the moment on camera

It’s good to be home, listening to the sea and seagulls. It is funny the things we miss when we are away from home.

On our way back home we spot a Golden Pheasant…something we don’t see walking up our little close every day

My four legged friends have definitely missed me and I them…Not having Toby on my morning walks felt awfully strange as he gives me the confidence to walk anywhere, as long as he is by my side.

I missed my baking yesterday, getting back into my routine is a little hit and miss. I will get my routine back, I’m sure I will.

With routine out of sync eventually I catch up with baking today and a few other bits of jobs I had forgotten about.

The rain eventually arrives after lunch, so indoors for the rest of the day catching up with my blog.

Then late afternoon the sun comes back to create a beautiful afternoon

Thursday 16th September 2021

Just after midnight and my brain won’t shut down…I think all the excitement which should have tired me out has had the opposite effect…my head has gone in to busy mode.Can’t quite get my head around the strange surroundings, I’m in and out of bed, looking out the windows.

I watch a torch light shining outside in the gardens, I’m inquisitive so I keep watching, security just doing his rounds I think.

It’s so quiet, not a seagull call to be heard, which is very strange as I have the sounds of seagulls at home. Just the traffic noise here which is something I’m not used too.

I finally get to sleep around 1am well that was the last time I looked at my watch. Awake again at 5.07am

I try to go back to sleep but no! So I get up and get dressed

7am I am having a wander around the beautiful grounds with my camera…brain and camera are not working in sync today, I do however manage some photos of the misty carpet across the grass

The sunlight just peering through the trees

The sunshine’s though the trees and bushes and is just so beautiful, it looks like it’s decorated with tiny fairy light, to compliment the red berries

We all have breakfast and then head off to the meeting room…a new day begins.

Another full on day which I have really enjoyed…but boy I’m tired

Wednesday 15th September 2021

I must apologise for my late short blog, only a quick blog for the next few days as I take time out.

Good morning Wednesday! The day has arrived when I finally get to meet some of my zoom friends…Deep Friends

This is a big big adventure for me as I have not been on a train since woo can’t remember. The emotions I am feeling this morning…Well everything I think.

I’m writing this as I sit on the train watching the beautiful countryside pass me by…the sun glistening …Eva Cassidy playing on my headphones, quite an emotional moment, in a good way…Just another hurdle made not letting dementia get in my way.

So today I have traveled through Preston, Wigan, Warrington, crew and other places…which I can’t remember all the places now…Destination Woodbrooke Birmingham

The train journey has been an experience, apparently I was sat in the wrong seat even though I had been taken there by the assistance travel assistant. I later find out it was not me or the rail assistant that was wrong, but the people who requested me to move! They had caught the wrong train !

It wasn’t a problem for me to move, just that I am now facing the wrong way and I like to see where I am going. Never mind I’m getting off in 35 minutes.

All in all the train journey wasn’t a bad one and the assistance travel couldn’t have done enough for me.

Philly was there on the platform to meet me which I was relived about.

And all I can say is wow! Overwhelmed by people… real people. People that I have only seen in a square box on a computer screen.

Amazing feeling…just amazing!

Tuesday 14th September 2021

We had some fair rain fall during the night and now we have no electricity this morning!

Good morning kitchen! As I walk through the house in darkness to the kitchen, only my phone light to guide my way, I have forgotten where the torch app is on my phone!

Bare footed I’m stepping into something that seems cold and slippery… puddles of water have appeared overnight. Hubby must have been up at some point as there are buckets and pans strategically placed. If you have seen the film Bambi, maybe you will remember a scene in the forest where the raindrops fall. The background music is Drip Drip Drop Little April Showers as the rain falls. That’s my kitchen this morning as the droplets of water hit the pans and buckets.

Definitely time to get out for my walk, even though it’s raining I don’t care. We walk up to the beach where the sea looks so calm, the dogs play and I just stand taking in the tranquility and the calm sea as it gently laps onto the shore.

I couldn’t take my camera this morning as it was far too wet, so I had to use my phone for today’s photograph.

Walk done and back home to the dripping kitchen, with makeshift lighting, the puppy pads that we had left over from little Flick have come in very useful for soaking up any excess dripping of water droplets

I have to go into Blackpool to collect my bracelet that has been in for repair this morning, so I am setting off extra early as I need to be back home for 10am as I have lots going on today.

Well that didn’t happen, there was something wrong with the trams this morning 2 or three just passed not even stopping, all with “Not in service” or “Tram Full” on the tram display board. Eventually yeah! Tram arrives…home late, so now on major catch up. On the positive side I did get some sneaky photos while waiting…can’t go anywhere without my camera!

Hubby home from work, let’s hope he can sort the electrics out so that power doesn’t keep tripping out. Me I’m busy packing my suitcase, ticking things off my list for my adventure to Woodbrooke tomorrow.

The nerves are starting…stomach doing somersaults

I will be fine…just remember to get off the train Gail! At Birmingham!

Me and hubby sat talking the other morning about the future and what could happen during the deterioration process of Alzheimer’s.

We have to be honest with each other even though it is an upsetting subject to talk about. We have to discuss my future care even though it is along time off yet. Hubby understands exactly my needs and wishes.

I have always said No to a Care home!

My preference has always to be looked after in my own home.

Yesterday i said that I was possibly being selfish, I would not like to think that I am being a burden in anyway. We both understand it could get very difficult. On the other hand it may not.

We still have Hope that my Alzheimers will be a slow process and that when the time comes, I’m not too difficult to cope with. Also my care can be given in my own home where I am sure I will be much more comfortable

For me I have worries, but don’t we all. Many of you will know that Hubby is my second husband and one of my biggest fears is that I may call him by the wrong name, I can’t for the life in me think why I would do that as I sit writing this today, but I’m not going to go into my first marriage as that is in the past.

I also have a fear I will not recognise my own daughters… that is tough to even think about.

We sat talking openly for a good while and both explained how we felt, a few tears shed a few hugs given

I think hubby definitely understands my wishes, we are definitely on the same wavelength on my future care.

One thing I do know …He won’t let me or my girls down❤️

This morning I have to call at the recycling centre with lots of rubble, old slates, just general building rubble. As it it near the Nature Reserve I thought it might be a good idea to walk around the Nature Reserve, then call at the centre to drop off all the rubble.

Just as we are near the end of the walk the rain start, quickly back to the car, as I am putting Toby in the car I smack my camera into my mouth, Ouch! Splitting my lip.

After cleaning myself up with tissue, I head off towards the recycling centre.

At the centre only a few cars waiting I’m straight in, normally when I have visited alone on previous occasions there has always been help available…Not today! I think all the staff are frightened of the rain or will they dissolve!

No help whatsoever, I struggle slightly with some of the rubble but I get the job done. Home to get cleaned up I open the makeshift back door to the kitchen…No a wet floor! Wonderful! I set too, mop up the water and put buckets and towels down…sorted or I thought. Off goes the electric! I mess around with the switches in the consumer box until I find which is tripping the electricity…lights! I can now isolate the lights so I can have the rest of the electricity on. Another problem sorted…it is the 13th and it comes in three’s!

I spend the afternoon sorting my clothes out for my venture on Wednesday, then into my craft room, hoping my headache will clear, it’s no wonder I have a headache!

Things can only get better.

Friday 10th September 2021

Just before I went to bed last night, I received a notification on my phone…don’t recognise that sound, I normally turn notifications off as the ping, ping sounds really annoy me. I find the sound so irritating.

Woo this wasn’t an irritating sound (well it was) I had sold one of my photos…the excitement took me back to when we first set up Bears4u and our very first order came through for a personalised teddy Bear, I was ecstatic!

Now I had the exact same feeling.

Wow!

So that is another big big positive to come from my sidekick Alzheimer’s, who would have thought a couple of years ago that I would have the patience to be able to sit and take photos of nature. Who would have thought I would have the patience to sit and sketch…one thing is for sure my sidekick has definitely changed me to a slower, much calmer person…well most of the time!

Speaking of calmer, I wasn’t calm after I had been out for some forgotten shopping items, came back walked into a piece of wood that wasn’t there before I left the house…Sawdust all over the floor inside the house. Then it was pointed out I had purchased still water, Not Fizzy! Well excuse me for trying!!

I’m now fizzing…I find a quiet space alone…Breathe…chill…distract!

There I upload more photos to https://gail-s-g.picfair.com/

That definitely distracts

Saturday 11th September 2021

I’m not very motivated this morning as I sit with my cup of tea, which is now going cold…I am distracted by reading though social media and emails I have received.

One email that jumps out is the YoYo group (local group for people with Dementia) At last they have set up a meeting for the end of September. Not at our usual meeting place in the memory clinic, but a cafe. We have always wanted the meeting place to be changed from the memory clinic, but they wouldn’t…Now because of Covid it’s all change!

The meeting time has also been changed to an afternoon which means Hubby can’t attend as he will be working. Then again it would be good to have a meeting without all partners in attendance, in my personal opinion these meetings should be about the person living with dementia and not the partners or carer. I hate the word carer as hubby is Not my carer he is my husband, best friend…definitely Not my carer!

I personally think groups should be set up separately for those living with dementia and also those living with the person with dementia.

I hate going to these groups where they talk openly complaining that the person they live with ( partner with dementia) is becoming hard work or they don’t want to garden with them, or just not interested in their activities. All spoken whilst their partner is sat next to them!

This makes me so sad, so angry as we still do still have feelings when we have Dementia! And I’m certainly not deaf !

9am walk on the beach, no camera this morning as it is so grey it makes focusing difficult, did take a short video of our four legged friends playing

Saturday is baking day and this morning I mix the cherry and chocolate muffin mix, place into the cases. Now all I need to do is set the timer so I don’t forget about them.

My daughter calls so I pick up the phone to answer, as we chat away, I am looking for my phone to set the alarm. I check my coat pockets, living room, my bedroom, kitchen but can’t find it anywhere. I retrace my steps all whilst talking to my daughter on the phone. We say our goodbyes, it wasn’t until I moved the phone from my ear that I realised I had the phone in my hand the whole time!

I set the timer, cakes in the oven and off I go to do another job. After a while the cakes are smelling good …that is the almost done smell surely. I go to check the oven and a good job I did as they where much browner than my usual bake…I had only set the alarm for 1 hour 20 minutes! Good job I checked and didn’t rely on my alarm!

I take myself off into the craft room for a couple of hours, for a little bit of relaxation time, well it would be if I could find the things I’m looking for…think it’s one of those hide ‘n’ seek days!

Then early evening we drive to Anchorshome prom Cleveleys to see if we can see the firework competition in Blackpool that starts this evening and runs for the next 3 or 4 Saturdays

We did manage a couple of photos but the street lights where getting in the way hindering the light and view. Need to find a better spot next time. Or travel into Blackpool, but that could be just a little too busy!

Sunday 12th September 2021

Had the weirdest of dreams last night which disrupted my sleep, then couldn’t get back to sleep. The dream was so real so vivid, still on my mind now!

Next doors house collapsed and I watched as it crumbled, the falling bricks the clouds of dust, the noise, the panic, neighbours running about trying to help. Our little close filled with panic and confusion. it was so so real, so difficult to get it out of my head. I had to look outside to double check everything was ok. Still in my head!

Time to have some time with nature I think, a trip to the park should do the trick.

So at 7.20am me Toby and Nikon are on our way. It’s very quiet nothing much happening this morning, there are lots of swans, which I always find captivating

Over in the middle of the pond are some different ducks, I think they could be Wigeon’s

I walk further into the park, leaves falling and changing colours from the lush greens now to yellows and burnt oranges

I chat with people I have met through walking in the park. I always find nice to have some interaction to brighten up a quiet walk. Then it’s home for Sunday brunch which always consists of bacon and sausages!

A little bit of cleaning up in the garden and more rubbish bagged up for the recycling centre…not today though I’ve done enough for one day. Time to sit and write up my blog with a nice cup of tea!