This morning I am out of bed super early (4am) I had slept pretty well until then.
So into the craft room to prep some more cards, it’s all the cutting out and designing that takes up most of the time, so by the time I have prepared and designed it’s going up for 6am.
Back into the house, time to sort the dogs out.
Hubby now awake and getting ready for work.
After breakfast, hubby is off to work and I decide to go out early this morning
To try and catch a sunrise
Nature…when it’s quiet it’s amazing what you see
I was certainly right this morning.
Me and Toby entered the Nature Reserve. Sat right in front of me on a Fence about 20/30 feet away is a beautiful Barn Owl. I have been trying to capture a photo of this owl for weeks, so you can imagine my excitement.
I slowly set my camera up…I really do not want to startle this beauty…I hold my breath and start to click away, just praying I have captured and got my focusing correct. I hear a car behind me, the owl moves a little further away…I can still see him, I zoom in again, the car door…Bang!
Off the little owl flys into the distance…Wow!
That was really something…I can breathe again!
A very special magical morning spent with nature ❤️
We move on around the nature reserve, Toby getting quite used to all the wildlife now and doesn’t seem to bother…the swans still don’t like Toby though.
A morning stretch…you don’t realise how big these birds are!
I was lucky enough to catch swans in flight
And landing
The morning just couldn’t get any better
The sky changes to an orangey glow and casts a warm reflection upon the pond.
A little sparrow lands on a nearby bush, the light captures his feathers bringing out the all the brown tones in his / her feathers
What a fabulous time I have had this morning and so relaxing too.
Home and I sit recapturing the wonderful moment through my photos ❤️
The weather is so nice today that I venture up to the beach later in the day as I have the urge to take more photos as the weather is just so lovely…feeling the sun on my face…just a real feel good factor.
The moon in a very blue sky
Beautiful Sunset this evening
I mess about with my camera taking Moon Shots
That’s it for me today, I have walked my little legs off and I’m shattered!
What a difference a day makes or a few days in my case, when my sidekick takes hold he / she really likes to mix things up, from confusion to clumsiness
Yesterday I was so clumsy which seemed to get worse as the day went on, it started just by dropping things…just small thinks like spoons, pens etc.
By tea time it was getting worse, I dropped a sharp knife …good job non of the dogs where sat at the side of my feet like they normally are. Woo I hate to think (as I give a shudder)
Then dishing the casserole up…haven’t got a clue what happened but the large serving spoon launched its self… casserole splattered all over the kitchen floor, kitchen cupboards and my hubby…whom couldn’t have been stood any further away!
Everything today as just either slipped from my hands or something has happened. No two days are the same not with my sidekick!
I’m out of bed just before 6am and now sat with my cup of tea, starting to write my daily blog.
Writing my blog I normally pick my iPad up… quite a few times during the day making notes or I make a quick note/ reference on my Things To Do List which is situated in the kitchen.
It’s always good to have a pen and pad handy to write things down, just helps me to remember. I know I don’t always remember to make notes, especially if I’m distracted by someone or something, but pads placed around do help.
So who knows what today will bring, looking out of the window it looks like rain today!
Definitely not looking like a camera day or a walking day.
I have had a really busy day today all sorts of things cropping up, which throws my head slightly, upsets my routine
I did the food shop this morning because I thought it was Thursday! Then realised when I checked my diary and watch it was only Wednesday…so that was a great start!
A zoomed for longer than I should have done, leaving me with a bit of a headache. I knew I should have left when my concentration was going…but I carried on regardless like I do!
I have been trying to multi task and spin too many plates, which always results in disaster.
My Mum rang after lunch and we was chatting away. A family birthday was mentioned…I knew about the birthday but had totally forgotten it was next week.
We finish our conversation, I put the phone down, straight off to check I have everything I need to dispatch the card and parcel.
I check the card…name spelt wrong! No! Now I have to make another card! Slight panic and flustration kicks in, don’t know why, as I have a few days before the birthday date.
4.30pm I can relax. All done well at least I think all my jobs are done 😊
No photos today as it has been far to wet to venture out with my camera so I will show a couple from my time at the nature reserve yesterday. I always take so many.
I wake to wind and rain this morning, which is a little disappointing after yesterday’s beautiful weather.
Dates now have been announced for the different phases of the lockdown release.
Am I exited…No! I’m not getting too excited at all.
Is this normal…well under the circumstances that things tend to change so much, I don’t think I will be excited until the day I get to meet up with my closest family and friends.
So today I carry on as I did yesterday and the day before that, well what seems like it’s been forever really.
I think I have forgotten what it feels like to be with lots of people. I have been cocooned for that long now, in my own little bubble.
I have spoken about routine in previous blogs and how it affects me when changes occur, so have no idea how I will cope with the lockdown ending.
No point worrying…it hasn’t happened yet!
Bellow is a poem I wrote last year when we thought we were coming out of Lockdown.
I have enjoyed the piece and quite…but so missed seeing my family and getting out and about, visiting different places.
It does give us hope now, i think that is what most people need right now…is Hope!
Back to the here and now, so I am hoping for a better day today…fingers crossed!
Oh no just tried to take this mornings beautiful red sky before it disappears…battery in camera exhausted! Flashes across the camera screen or something like that.
A little like me! Exhausted!( forgot to charge camera last night when we came off the beach )
Oh well just have to wait until it’s charged…nothing I can do right now. I think it might be worth ordering a spare battery.
A walk to the beach with Toby and Charlie …no camera 😞 maybe I will go out again later. We will see.
I have no zoom meetings today so I am making the most of just doing things for me…so I can take my time just catching up on a few things / jobs that have been put to one side.
Late morning after I have done some of my jobs, (clean the food cupboards out). I decide to go to the Nature Reserve and have a break from the cleaning, also I really want to give my camera another go…fingers crossed.
Wow it’s windy! But it’s so good to be back out again with my camera!
Couple of Canadian Geese
Can’t resist taking photos of the Swans, I take lots of photos, just a shame I can’t use them all.
Capture a duck just taking flight
Always a seagull or two around and I just love it when I capture one flying
I had a successful time with my camera today…looking through my photos, brought a smile to my face. The smile of achievement 😊
Today is a good day and I achieved. Some things might only be small but it’s the little things that bring the greatest feeling of happiness…contentment
Just being able to take a photo…a photo from my day.
With hubby laughing at what comes out of my mouth now.
We sometimes just look at each other in a amazement and laugh after I have said something that is absolute rubbish.
It might just sound gobbledygook
It might be the totally wrong word
My mouth will open but nothing comes out because my brain can’t find the words
This doesn’t happen all the time, but at least we can laugh with each other when it does.
I thought I would also mention that I can no longer work out what is a joke… I can imagine some will think I am being possibly ignorant by not reacting as you think I should…or how a person should react when it’s only a joke. This is so hard to describe
I suppose what I am trying to say is I think everything that is said to me is reality.
So if you said jokingly…wow that dress is awful …I would think you meant it…so I wouldn’t find it funny. I would think you where being deadly serious.
I take everything anyone says as the truth I suppose, which can cause a little upset if I’m not understanding.
Anyway today I’m out for an early walk in the park before my zoom meetings.
The Herons are all fighting for the best nesting spot, it was amazing to watch them flying in and out of the tree…such a big bird trying to navigate through the branches
I have had major problems with my camera today as my head was not remembering how to do things, which caused me to get a little flustered.
Most of my photos where annoyingly out of focus or just couldn’t zoom in to get a clear photo…so I got really annoyed with myself earlier.
I spend sometime in the garden in the beautiful sunshine before hubby comes home from work. I’m just generally pottering about, the moon was out too in the clear blue sky.
So as soon as hubby is home I hand him my camera. He spots the problem straight away, I had inadvertently moved a button…something so simple but yet so confusing for my head to remember / work out.
All sorted now 😊
Moon out early on this beautiful sunny afternoon
The camera problems kept on coming as now my photos are not uploading onto my iPad…what have I done now 🙈
All sorted…
Now me and camera are all good again.
I thought a walk after tea to catch the sunset…but No sunset as clouds have appeared.
Woke around 6.20am there is a coldness in the air, I will be so glad to see the warmer months this year. Winter is not my favourite season and this year it seems to be going so slow…Its with being in Lockdown.
I know spring can’t be that far off as all the little bulbs are starting to make an appearance…in the park they are already open, but not as yet in my garden. Nearly!
Hubby’s day off work today, normal circumstances we would be off somewhere, visiting family, going for walks further afield…that’s definitely one thing I do miss.
Hopefully soon!
Oh I have my appointment through for my Covid jab next week, I was a little shocked when I received as I thought I would be way down the list only being in my 50’s , I can only think it’s because of dementia/ medical reasons I have been called.
To be quite honest I am a little nervous as I’m not one for tablets, medications of any sort but on this occasion I do think it’s the right thing to do. 😬
After writing my blog yesterday I began to think, because I do all my crafty things I don’t think people realise how my dementia affects me…they only see all my crafts and paintings I produce which is my positive side of Dementia.
I suppose because I always try to stay as positive as I can, you are only reading or witnessing my best bits, which is great because you can see what we are capable of when living with dementia.
I don’t often talk about the struggles.
After yesterday’s blog and describing what it is like for me to make a cup of tea when someone is speaking, it brought it home that I also need to describe what it’s like when we are struggling with things…I need to include everything as it’s not all about forgetting.
As you will have most probably realised from previous blogs, sleep is a big disturbance in dementia and no matter what I do…this is just how it is for me. I think the only thing I haven’t tried are sleeping tablets and No! I am not going down that road!
My Choice!
Today will be a funny sort of a day as hubby is at home all day which throws me out of my routine. I’m already out of my comfort zone / routine waiting for him to get up out of bed so I can tidy round. I would normally be dressed by now and possibly out with the dogs, but not this morning!
So I sit waiting and I suppose getting a little anxious…watch me fly round when the bedroom door opens!
Bedroom door opens just before 8am and in I am straight in to make the bed and also get dressed for my beach walk …which is not as early as it normally is, but at least it’s happening.
Charlie straight for the puddles, digging up pebbles!
Then the seagulls, this one looks like he has been to McDonald’s and dropped his chicken nugget!
There wasn’t anything new on the beach this morning, it was a little windy and showery…but lucky for us we dodged the showers.
On our way back home a lovely little Robin stopped by to say hello
Walk done, back inside where it’s warm.
I do a spot of baking which doesn’t go well.
My first mix I forget the caster sugar, so that goes in the bin.
The second mix is ok.
Then the rock bun mix…well I don’t know what happened, they don’t look like my normal rock buns!
Mmmm not a good day!
Lunch just tips me over the edge.
I am trying to make poached eggs and an omelette….Bang! Overload and Melt down!
I simply cannot do two things at once …I am so frustrated! …that’s it! Lost it!
Hubby tries to distract by giving me a hug…No! Push him away! I just need to be on my own…
Now I feel guilty for pushing him away.
It feels like there is something inside me that just takes over…I have no control.
I feel sad, flustration, confused!
I hate my sidekick right now!!
Because I have overloaded…The hours pass I start to feel rubbish
I wake this morning and lie in bed, I’m hoping for a better day than yesterday.
My motivation is low and I’m still in my pjs at 8.30am as I start to write my blog.
I have normally been out with the dogs by now…no not this morning as I look outside at a very grey damp morning…well that is not inspiring at all! No camera for me this morning, just something else to bring my mood down.
I think yesterday was a bad day, I am still feeling the guilt on my reactions at the disastrous bake and lunch.
I’m thinking is this another change that I can’t control!
Yesterday’s events are sticking in my head and I can’t shake them loose!
I have a very wet soggy walk with Toby this morning, we both looked like drowned rats on our return, for some reason I felt the need to stay out in the rain.
I take my hat off so I could feel the rain on my head. I then started to tidy the garden.
An hour later and soaked through to the skin, inside to remove all wet clothing and make a hot chocolate.
Hubby calls me on my phone, I normally enjoy my morning check in chat…not this morning as I just feel like I can’t be bothered. I hate feeling like this and it normally happens when I have done too much, or have too many thoughts wizzing in my head.
My day feels rubbish and I hate feeling like this
Today well, it’s a hard day…When all the positivity is sucked out of me
Hubby gives me a big hug on his return home.
My eyes fill with tears and all I can say is “This is so hard ”
Sunday 21st February 2021
Day 49 of Lockdown
Yesterday was a hard day!
Today is a new day!
I wake at 5.50am …well when I say wake, this is the time I actually get out of bed, I always wake a few times during the night, it is very unusual for me to go to bed and sleep through without waking or getting up.
I am out and about just after 7.30am I am determined to take my camera this morning even though the sky does look a little like rain.
Wow the beach is quiet, no one around this morning
I think Harry Potter was here earlier
Nothing of any interest…no new sea birds…not many birds at all really. Then on our walk back home I spy some little goldfinches playing, swooping from tree to tree across the road. I stop and watch…camera at the ready, waiting for them to settle…then click, click, click as my finger presses the button.
I never really know what I have captured until I return home. I could check the camera screen but I don’t take my reading glasses with me so I have trouble seeing! ha! ha!
Home and it’s always a surprise when the photos have uploaded on to my iPad and I can see what I have captured. Sometimes disappointing too, when I think I captured something and it’s all blurry
It’s a new routine I have.
Come home from my walk, sort out dogs, take outdoor clothes off, wash hands, put the kettle on to make a cup of tea or possibly a hot chocolate, biscuit, sit down and just relive my mornings walk. One of the best parts of the day ❤️
My day is better than yesterday, so that’s a positive and also the sun is trying it’s best to make an appearance, to make my day even brighter.
I am itching to go out again to take more photos, but its always so busy at weekend with tourists (even though they are not supposed to travel) so I will wait.
I take a few around the garden as the crocuses are flowering, it was beginning to feel a little bit more spring like today
I have felt a little brighter today, but a little lost of not knowing what to do with myself…at least I have felt more like me!
I will finish with a track by Sia – I’ll Never Give Up
I wake at 4am this morning, so a very early start for me.
Into the craft room to finish of my watercolour painting of a Kingfisher, I have been going to finish off all this all week …just one of the many things I wanted to do, that has just got lost in the distractions of the week.
So at 6am feeling of accomplishment as I leave the craft room to make a well earned cup of tea.
I pick up my iPad to start on the days blog…I am struggling slightly on what to write as the lockdown is starting to get quite repetitive…a bit like me!
I think we are all finding it difficult to talk about something new, as we don’t see people face to face or go anywhere different.
We are very much cocooned in our own little worlds.
Dementia feels very much like that to me sometimes. Cocooned!
I do feel that I’m in a different world…a world of trying to explain how I feel.
Why I can’t do things or why I forget to do things.
How I’m feeling when my head is fuzzy.
Why I can’t remember a programme I watched a few days ago.
Why some days I cant find words.
Why I get so confused.
Why I have to stop and really think when making two brews or I get them wrong…
Why I constantly burn myself when getting things out of the oven because I forget to put oven gloves on.
All these Why’s!
I constantly wonder why every time something happens or something else changes.
No point dwelling on the changes or the why’s!
I now just have to accept that this is me …This is my new word.
I now have to find simple ways to adapt and live in my new world
One of the biggest daily confusion, is when hubby comes home from work. You see I have been quietly plodding on throughout my day on my own, with only me to think about.
I’m in my own world of going around in circles, but getting there in the end…keeps me busy!
Then hubby comes home …then the talking starts from the minute the door opens and it’s like something explodes in my head! ( don’t get me wrong I love my hubby to bits ) I do find myself getting quite agitated, because I am also trying to make a cup of coffee and a cup of tea, (these I have already prepared) I just need to add water…how hard is that you might think!
Let me tell you…it’s extremely hard!!
Before I had dementia, if you would have told me how difficult it was to make a cup of tea and a cup of coffee at the same time, i would have most probably thought you where having a joke!
I would never have believed anyone could have trouble making a cup of tea.
This is dementia for you! It takes things away from you, things that you could never imagine.
Dementia is far much more than memory loss! …Far much more than anyone would realise!
Until you actually live with this disease!
Yesterday I had to shout Stop!!! My hubby then realise I could not work out how to make a cup of tea and coffee with him talking at the same time.
It was like my brain had gone into overload, sparking away inside my head trying to work out what to do. Too much information…too much to try and decipher …overload… bang my head explodes… that’s what it feels like.
Time for my early morning walk on the beach now the rain has stopped.
The blue sky is on its way
Mr Crow on the beach, no curlews this morning
We walk down to Mary’s Shell…a few photos taken at different angles before moving on.
Then I walk just a little further to the large stone Ogre
On my journey back home I spot a little Goldfinch
Then a little Great Tit came to say hello
Back home… time to tidy round and set my things up for the last of my card making sessions at 11am
Lots of lovely cards made this morning …all made by people who live with dementia
A good morning had by all…all coming together to learn a new craft.
Who says you can’t!
We all proved this morning no such word as CAN’T!
I was going to go out with my camera again in the afternoon but by the time I had eaten lunch, spoken with my Mum and emptied the washing machine, the tiredness starts to kick in.
I decided to put my feet up and watch Anne with an E (Anne of Green Gables) I can remember Anne of Green Gables from when I was a small girl enjoyed it then and now enjoying the Netflix version.
To end my day, Hubby takes me to watch the sunset eating fish ‘n’ chips in the car 😋
It was a lovely clear moon as I looked out the window late last night so just had to step outside to capture a photo.
I’m out early again this morning with Toby and Charlie
Out on the beach this morning, the weather doesn’t look too good but it’s fine and dry so at least that’s a positive.
Where ever I go now I always spot something new…a different bird, different views as the weather changes.
Seagulls, Turnstones, Oystercatchers and right at the front of the photo camouflaged by the background is a Curlew.
You do not realise how much nature is around us until you really look. It’s like I look and then look more now.
As the saying goes ” Look and you will find”
Patience and time, waiting for the right photo and then it doesn’t always happen!
I am always forgetting which way my zoom button should be pressed is it up or is it down by the time I have worked it out I’ve missed the subject or have a very blurry photo…also results in me missing quite a lot of what could potentially be great photos.
This photo of the Curlew I changed the colour
This is the first time I have seen them on the beach…I did walk a fair way out at the tide was out, so maybe that’s why I had not seen them before.
Seagulls fighting over a shellfish…one gull was flying high and dropping the shellfish from height to try and break it open
The seagull has the shellfish in its mouth
Oystercatcher and possibly a Turnstone below
I really don’t know what it is with this week, but I just can’t seem to get the things done that I had planned to do. Other things tend to get in the way…then before I know it, it’s too late to do things.
I know I am slowing down now.
I can’t physically do what I used to do …or should I say what I would like to get through in a day.
It’s it dementia that is slowing me down or is it age?
I really don’t know! It could be both!
I find myself getting flustered and annoyed with myself when I have not done what I had set out to do.
Annoyingly I get so distracted with other things along the way…Distractions just pull me in like a magnet!
Today I was going to have my walk, then the diarist zoom at 10am. Another zoom with Chris at 11am then the day would be free for me to finish off my king fisher painting which I started at the weekend
Did this happen…No!
It’s now 2.15pm and not even got anywhere near my painting! Why?
Distractions from Zooming, cleaning, preparing tea, writing my blog, deliveries arriving.
That’s it no craft time…yet again!
Hubby will be home from work soon, then sit and chat about his day and look at the photos I have taken from my day…That’s another hour passed.
This morning I’m up bright and early. I was in bed early last night as I felt exhausted yesterday.
I have had a good nine hours sleep…just woke a couple of times during the night, so feel much brighter today.
Out on the nature reserve for an early morning walk, I was hoping for a sunrise but that never materialised…far too many clouds around this morning!
Cement art work which are positioned in the walls
Beautiful, graceful swans
It was very quiet this morning and the nature reserve not many birds and ducks around at all …”I wonder where they’ve all gone”?
Always plenty of seagulls
It was a relaxing tranquil walk, just passing the odd dog walker with a wave or a hello to brighten my day.
I have a phone call late morning from a very dear friend…always cheers me up…we always laugh and we did this morning.
During the phone call I couldn’t find my phone, I searched my bag, front room, back room, kitchen all this time I am talking to my friend on my phone!
While I am emptying my bag out onto the kitchen work surface I realise …I am actually using my phone, I’m holding it in my hand next to my ear.
Wow we laughed when I told her! 😂🤣😂
Wow I have just taken delivery of flowers…that was a surprise!
It’s always so nice to receive something when you are not expecting too!
It brings happiness and brightness to your day 😊
Alstroemerias love them😍
I’m having one of those days where I’m trying to get things done, but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. I keep getting distracted with other things…resulting in the things I had set out to do, not getting done.
Hubby home from work and an afternoon treat…I made pancakes!
A beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky late afternoon.
I was in bed early last night 9pm…I was exhausted from yesterday.
I can not believe that I only woke once, possibly twice in the night….I had over 10 hours of sleep…That is a very rare occurrence!
I was going to get up early for the sunrise…Nope I missed that one!
I was going to go to the park to catch the tranquility before the crowds of people emerged…Nope I missed that one two!
Instead I sit going through social media trying to make today Friday stick in my head…but my head thinks it’s Saturday today.
I think I have brain overload today as nothing feels right and the confusion of what day it is sticks with me.
It’s been a busy sort of a week…enjoyable but busy.
While my week has being busy, I have had the odd thing thrown into the mist of things …just to throw a spanner in the works…just to confuse my brain…upset my brain, so it goes In to a frenzy of questions…Why? What for? Why Now? Making my brain think all sorts of things, putting me into a state of anxiety and panic.
Dementia can be so cruel at times…it overrules our good thoughts as the bad thoughts flood into our brain overflowing with negativity
Dementia loves to look at negativity and hold on to it.
So today i feel like I am in a constant battle with negative thoughts… constantly trying to switch them back to positivity!
So time to put my iPad down…get dressed instead of sitting here in my night clothes and go for a walk, maybe that will boost my day.
Only a short walk today but at least I managed a walk.
Back home and trying to take things easy…which is so difficult as I don’t do sitting still!
I decide to bake and make a few rock buns then a quick vac round and that is it …I’m now sat in my chair …eyes heavy
I rest for a while then finish off a poem that I started earlier this week.
As the sun goes down, I take a photo from my window.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow I will have more energy for walking…for spending time with nature and my camera ❤️
Saturday 13th September 2021
Day 41 of Lockdown
Another rubbish night, still in the craft room at 2am…a few cards made, blog recorded and a little painting done.
I wake just after 7am with a note from Hubby…Toby a little off colour today, he had not wanted his breakfast and what he did eat didn’t stay down long.
When I got up he seemed bright enough. He still wanted to go for a walk, so must not be feeling too bad…I hope!
8am off to the park nice and early. Only a few people around which is good as it can get quite busy later in the day.
On our walk I can hear some very strange noises then I realise we are near to the zoo, it just sounded like loud roaring…could it be the lions? I wonder…Toby wasn’t too keen on the noise!
It is absolutely freezing 🥶 my camera keeps doing strange things like not focusing and turning off, which is quite annoying when little birds are landing in front of you!
Another lady stood near me with a very impressive large camera was also having problems too.
She explained the cold weather can cause a few problems for cameras. There we go I thought it was me!
I managed a few photos before leaving.
Some of my favourites from today was :-
Great Tit
Mr Robin
Male and Female Blackbird
Woody Woodpecker, looking a little worse for wear this morning
Cormorant
Lots of sleeping ducks all huddled together
I don’t blame them, they must be freezing sat on ice
The Black Crow watching from the tree
It is that cold today it is freezing the water coming out of our water feature in our garden.
Time for a hot chocolate and hug a radiator I think!
The rest of Saturday was spent in the warmth of my home, pottering about…as many of you will now know I find it difficult to sit still!
Sunday 14th February 2021
Day 42 of Lockdown
Woo Happy Valentines Day as me and hubby exchange little gifts
Beautiful flowers for me
Nice bottle of red wine and chocolate for hubby
Wooo and a surprise…wow a case for my camera ❤️
Our morning walk is a wild and windy one
Didn’t take my camera this morning as not a great day for cameras, with the amount of sand that’s blowing around …Great for exfoliating the skin!
Very Painful though!
Back home, I decide to make a start on my will the one thing that I keep putting off. We reach a point where we are getting a little confused and I’m also getting a little upset.
Discussing and finalising my life…nope not ready for this today!
I will try again possibly tomorrow… well at least when I have got some advice from the solicitor.
The wind is now getting stronger and swirling around the house making a right old racket…it’s quite unnerving…I really don’t like the wind, not when it’s so strong!
Crafting afternoon
I have made a start on creating a little Westie by felting.
I am doing this without pattern or instructions.
I only have my own little Westie Flick and photographs to refer too.
I have a long way to go yet, but she is starting to take shape.
It has taken me all afternoon but I have created a little felt Westie…
My little Westie created out of natural wool for felting.
Well that certainly passed a very wet and windy Sunday afternoon.
