Friday 26th April 2025

I thought it might be a nice idea to tell you a little bit about my life before dementia.

We all have a past, but for me, when I receive my diagnosis, my past life just seemed to disappear.

In an instance my life and all my past experiences just vanished!

I had now become a dementia statistic “The person with Early Onset Alzheimer’s”

It is so sad, but very true!

Most people only see the dementia, they are not interested that I actually had a life before this disease.

So over a few blogs I will be finding old photos to write about. Photos which I have randomly picked from my photo box.

Join me as I reigniting some childhood memories

I am an only child, and if I’m honest I was most probably spoiled, or was I?

The way I see things, just because I was an only child, my parents was able to give me most things in life, because there was only me.

I don’t remember my very early days of my life, but as I pull a photo from the box, it’s as if I’m in a Time Machine!

I’m transported back to 1964

My world now in black and white, no colour at this moment in time, no colour to brighten my past life, not at this early stage.

My first photo taken by a professional photographer, I sit looking at the photographer proudly showing off my first teeth.

My eyes are blue and the lace dress was a pale pink or was it peach? A delicate white overlay of lace to make the dress quite special.

Apparently everything I wore would be coordinated, I imagine everything would have had to be quite perfect.

I don’t seem to have many photos of me as a small child, they must all be at my parents house, but the ones I do have ignite memories.

I have no memories of the actual day, just memories of colours, objects in the photo, even smells are brought to mind.

I can remember that my first bike or should I say tricycle, had a bright yellow hard plastic seat, cold when I sat on it, especially when only wearing a little cotton dress.

The teddy bear sitting on the trike was white with a large pink satin bow.

Looking deeper into the photo, I’m pulled into my past.

I can just make out from the card, it’s my 2nd Birthday, you can see in my eyes that I am completely overjoyed!

I am sitting next to my dad in the living room of our terraced house in Nelson Lancashire.

I can remember the street being so clean and well kept, all the neighbours seemed friendly and helpful from what I can remember.

I think one neighbour was called Sandra and the other was called …oh for goodness sake, the name was there in my head and now it’s just disappeared!

(The name of the neighbours came to me a few days later, it was Mr and Mrs Gresty)

I can also remember a Mr and Mrs Woods, they where an elderly couple whom lived across the back.

I can remember on one occasion taking a little tumble, and if by magic an egg shaped lump appeared, protruding from my forehead. Mrs Woods made it all better with a rub of butter on the protruding lump and a sweet from the dish which sat on the large wooden sideboard in her back room. Her house always smelt of sweet things like butterscotch and possibly baking.

My Dad had a friend further up the street, I think his name was Bob. Their house also had sweets on the sideboard too…I wonder if everyone had a dish of sweets on their sideboard?

Funny what memories we remember as a small child.

As I got a little older I can remember a family living near to my dad’s friend Bob, they had a little girl and I would sometimes go and play at her house. There in one of the rooms was a wooden rocking horse, oh my word I thought that rocking horses was amazing!

Climbing onto that horse would feel so good, it was as if I was in another world, a fairy tale world, a world of imagination.

As children we do have great imaginations,

Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

Imagination is the door to possibilities. It is where creativity begins, maybe that’s why I have a good imagination for art.

Possibly my imagination and creativity started from a very young age, I wonder if it comes from the imaginative world of being an only child

One of the characteristics of being an only child is the lack of built-in playmates at home. While many may think this is a lonely place to be, it encouraged me to become best friends with my imagination, and the power of make-believe allowed me to escape into fantasy worlds of my own creation. My wildest dreams would come to life alongside my teddies and dolls and I didn’t have to leave home.

I realise that being an only one, did have its downside but also so many positives, like helping to create my own independence and problem-solving skills, being alone taught me the value of solitude and self reliance.

While being an only child come with challenges, the imaginative world is filled with endless possibilities and boundless creativity. Through make-believe, inventive games, and the joy of just being alone.

I realise now, to embrace your imagination is a powerful tool for self-expression and exploring

So, if you’re an only child, remember the positives of being able to just let your imagination run wild and revel in the magic of your own creative world.

Wednesday 24th April 2024

After so many of you enjoy my blog about the wonderful little birds and their song, I thought I would share the birds or waterfowl that I see on my regular walks around the nature reserve pond

waterfowl are a delightful sight, with their graceful movements on the water and vibrant plumage.

From the majestic swans to adorable ducks, i will take you with me to explore some of the most fascinating waterfowl species found on the Nature Reserve I visit every opportunity I get.

The Majestic Mute Swans:

One of the most iconic waterfowl species is the Mute Swan. Known for their elegant appearance and graceful movements, These large birds are distinguished by their pure white feathers and orange beaks, and are a pleasure to watch especially when performing their courtship displays, where they swim in synchronized patterns, creating a mesmerizing sight.

Canada Goose

A very noisy bird indeed! It has got to be one of the noisiest on the pond! I certainly know when they are visiting. The Canada goose has a black neck and white chinstrap, with brown wings. Often can be seen in mixed flocks and can be a real nuisance, yet their young are just so adorable

The Charming Colourful Mallards:

The Mallard duck is a common sight with the male having a vibrant green heads and distinctive quacking sounds. These ducks are known for their strong pair bonds and protective parenting behavior, making them a joy to observe.

Coots:

Coots are another interesting waterfowl species. These medium-sized birds are known for their striking black plumage and white beaks. The Coots are often seen gliding gracefully across the water, using their rather large lobed toes. These birds are so entertaining, especially when using their large feet to run across the water at speed!

Greylag Geese:

Greylag Geese are another very common sight, especially during the winter months when they gather in large flocks. These geese are known for their distinctive honking calls and V-shaped flying formations.

Great Crested Grebe

The Great Crested Grebe has to be one of my favourite water birds. I do get quite obsessed taking hundreds of photos of this delightful, elegant bird with its decorative head plumes. Great Crested Grebes dive to feed and also to escape, preferring this to flying. They have an elaborate mating display which sees them rising out of the water shake their heads. Another wonderful display is when the very young Grebes ride on their parents’ backs.

Whether you’re a seasoned birdwatcher or simply appreciate the beauty of nature, waterfowl are sure to leave you in awe with their grace and charm.

So, next time you’re near a lake, river or pond, take a moment to admire these fascinating of the avian wonders that maybe somewhere near to you.

Monday 22nd April 2024

It was Friday 12th April 2024, I was meeting up with my Admiral Nurse Maxine and Julie

Today would be a community health and well-being event which would be taking place from 12 – 4pm at the Winter Gardens Blackpool

I would be travelling by tram today as I hate trying to navigate the carpark pay machines, they are just so confusing…They don’t take coins anymore!

As I get off the tram at the North Pier I see a little elephant

Woo I mustn’t get distracted!

I had completely forgotten that it was the start of Elmer’s Big Parade!

Elmers Big Parade Blackpool, will be brought to life by a herd of uniquely decorated, amazingly creative, elephant sculptures.

For eight weeks around 70 sculptures will live in locations around Blackpool, where you can view and follow a trail to find all the beautifully decorated little elephants.

I didn’t have to go out of my way to find any elephants as some was positioned in places that i passed on my journey to the Winter Gardens

Elmers trail will have to wait for another day, I have an event to attend at the Winter Gardens.

I arrive at the event around 11.15am, lucky for me the Dementia UK Stand is situated just in at the main doors so don’t have to worry about finding Maxine and Julie, I see there smiling faces as soon as I open the doors.

The Winter Gardens Floral Hall is the central passage through the Winter Gardens complex, with entrances and exits at either end, providing access to the Opera House and Empress Ballroom.

On first appearance the floral hall has is not unlike a shopping centre, but without the shops, however it is far more opulent.

It really is a beautiful old building with so much character and charm. Just a shame that accessibility to toilets are quite difficult. As it is an old building there is quite a lot of noise which seems to echo around the hall.

We met lots of people from other agencies and also chatted with people with and without dementia, it really was an informative few hours.

There were so many stalls stretching the full length of the hall. So much information and so many free pens!

How could I not enjoy the day…I was with Maxine and Julie

Friday 19th April 2024

It was very early in the morning, when I received a text message from Floodline Alert.

The weather had taken a turn for the worst, a storm was on its way!

Storms bring both excitement and danger, for me, I just love to photograph the huge waves that a storm brings. I just love those waves that go absolutely crazy, leaping into the air totally out of control.

The problem I have, I sometimes forget the danger!

As I lift my camera to my eye and look through the lens, the sea draws me in, it hypnotises me, I become so consumed with the dancing sea and its spectacular show.

When the humongous wave reaches its great crescendo, I simply forget that it will come crashing down somewhere.

The sea is so very unpredictable and when other factors like strong winds and storms join in they can create a powerful swell and huge breaking waves that pose a significant threat to both ships and life.

I just totally forget the force which is exerted by those stormy large waves.

On Tuesday, I forgot all the dangers that stormy seas bring.

I was just so excited to see what I could capture with my camera.

I rushed out at high tide, driving a short distance to a favourite spot where I know the waves would be crashing in and leaping into the air.

As I drove, I knew taking the coastal route that runs along the side of the prom would be dangerous, the waves would be crash in, bring with them debris and pebbles!

Not wanting my car to be damaged by any debris, I pull off the main road onto a side street, park up and continuing on foot.

The wind is so strong it is making walking difficult, I even come to a standstill as some gusts nearly knock me off my feet. Correcting my balance I am off again, walking nearer and nearer to the prom wall.

Now as we have had flood warnings all the sea defence gates have been closed, this is to hold the high tide waters at bay, also there could be danger to life!

Me, I proceed to get as close as I possibly can.

I stand with camera in hand, looking through the lens. Oh my goodness the wind is so strong! I a struggling to hold the camera still!

Then all at once I hear rumblings. A sound very similar to thunder! With almighty roar and crash, I feel the sea spray coming near.

No time to move! The giant monster of a wave is upon me!

I turn my back on this beast trying to protect my camera, but it’s too late, no time to move, no time to protect. The huge beast of a wave encases me in salty freezing cold water.

Wow!

I take in a gasp of air, as the freezing cold water penetrates my clothing.

I need a moment!

What has just happened!

In a blink of an eye that humongous wave had encased me!

As the sea retracted, I was back!

Reality hit me!

It was time to go home, being outdoors was far too dangerous!

I walk away from the sea wall, drenched!

My camera and camera bag are completely soaked, my feet are squelching as the sea water had filled my boots, the coat that once protected my body from the wind and rain is no more.

I walk back to my car looking a right soggy mess. It served me right!

Who in their right mind would go out to take photos on such a stormy day!

Me!

Wednesday 17th April 2024

Mood can definitely knock me off course as my artist brain fails me.

I have found it very difficult to inspire myself over the last month or so.

It’s funny how something in one’s head just clicks, like the flick of a switch, it suddenly sends a spark, my brain is ignited and my inspiration takes hold.

I think my switch is a little faulty at the moment!

Last week it worked well as my inspiration took hold and I just created.

I had seen a piece of art in an art shop while visiting the Lake District. The piece was black rolling hills on a white background, it was so dramatic.

On my return home I looked for artists and other pieces of black and white art. It was then I came across Japanese art. The art of using black ink, it seemed simple yet so effective.

The more I looked at some of the pieces, the more I was inspired to have a go.

I love trying new techniques, my excitement builds as I run with so many ideas

Once I had started there was no stopping me, I even found myself naming the art pieces, something I have not done before…Well I don’t think I have!

I wasn’t using brushes to create these pieces, I was using a dried flower!

Art doesn’t have to be an expensive hobby, I have used many different papers, canvases, stones, wood. You can paint on almost anything, even newspaper!

I am really loving experimenting with ink and the Japanese style, it’s given me so much inspiration

So from feeling quite flat and deflated, I’m now running with ideas.

Once again I’m pulled into my craft room where creativity takes hold.

Monday 15th April 2024

Since I was diagnosed with dementia, I just love being around nature.

I thought today i would share some of the wonderful birds and their tuneful songs

Stepping outside into a garden or maybe a stroll in the park, you are likely be greeted by a symphony of delightful chirps and tweets from the numerous feathered visitors.

Birds bring life and color to our surroundings, offering a sense of tranquility and joy to those who take the time to observe them.

Let me take you into the world of nature and just some of the wonderful little birds

I have even recorded their wonderful birdsong too.

Robin
The beloved robin is perhaps one of the most iconic British garden birds, known for its bright red breast and cheerful song. I often see a delightful little robin hopping around the garden, or indeed following me around the Nature Reserve. Me and Robins do have a special connection, I love to build their trust, hoping they will feed from my hand

Blue Tit
With its striking blue, yellow, and white plumage, the blue tit is a stunning addition to any garden, and these little birds are like little acrobats as they flit from branch to branch in search of food.

Blackbird
The blackbird is also familiar sight, with its sleek black plumage and bright orange-yellow beak. They are like little Olympic runners as they sprint through the garden. They are mainly ground feeders, feeding on worms, insects and berries. The male has such a beautiful singing voice.

Goldfinch
Woo the little goldfinch is a stunning garden visitor, with its vibrant red face and yellow wing patches. These small finches are known for their tinkling, bell-like song. You can often see them extracting seeds from trees and plants with their delicate beaks. Goldfinches are a joy to watch and bring so much colour.

Sparrow
Sparrows are a common sight in our gardens, their brown and gray plumage may not be as colourful as some, but they certainly make up for it with their cheerful chirps, they seem such a happy little bird.

Song Thrush

The Song Thrush, plumage may not be the brightest, their speckled breast stands out from the crowd though.

Wow! such a beautiful singing voice, will definitely entertain you with their beautiful song.

Watching and listening to the birds can provide a sense of connection to the natural world and bring a sense of peace and tranquility to my life, taking me into another world, forgetting my world of dementia.

You don’t need a massive garden to attract some feathered friends, you just need to create a bird-friendly environment with feeders and perhaps a little bird bath. If you have room,even a nesting box may attract a little feathered friend.

Next time you step outside, take a moment to appreciate the beauty and charm of the little garden birds that share the outdoor space with you.

Friday 12th April 2024

Living with dementia can presents with numerous of challenges and obstacles, which does impacting on my daily life.

One difficulty or should I say annoyance, is that I am sometimes face with the struggle to answer questions.

Something you would imagine to be simple. Yet answering a questions, can be quite a daunting task, leading to frustration, confusion even agitation.

This is where communication breakdowns and I get frustrated.

The simplest of questions that most people take for granted, such as “How are you feeling today?” or “What did you have for lunch?” can trigger a wave of confusion and uncertainty. Questions make me have to think ever so hard especially when 2 or 3 questions are thrown at me at once!

For goodness sake if you are asking me a question, give me time to answer, don’t throw another question at me, just because you didn’t get an immediate answer…Give my brain time to ignite!

My decline in memory, and cognitive function can make it challenging to process and retrieve information quickly in order to create an immediate response.

Imagine being asked a question and feeling like you are lost in a maze, desperately trying to find the right path to reach the answer.

This is often something i experience.

Sometimes I’m not very good at quick thinking and recall of specific details.

Questions can cause frustration and anxiety, but without the use of questions, that most important communication barrier will break.

Sometimes my inability to provide accurate answers to questions can have an impact leaving me feeling inadequate and embarrassed, just something else dementia interferes with.

1. Patience and understanding, during conversations can help alleviate the pressure and the anxiety.

2. Use simple and clear language, please avoid complex questions.

3. Don’t forget to allow time for me to respond, don’t just throw another question at me because I haven’t automatically answered the first one!

By raising awareness and having a better understanding of these challenges, we hopefully can educate.

There is so much to learn

We need to navigate the maze together, with empathy and understanding to create a less stressful environment and raise awareness of the challenges that questions can bring.

Wednesday 10th April 2024

Changing of the clocks, many of us may dread when living with dementia. The losing of an hour of sleep, the feel of disorientation by the sudden shift in our daily routine.

Our bodies have a natural, internal clock known as the circadian rhythm, which regulates our sleep-wake cycle. This internal clock is finely tuned to respond to signals from our environment, such as light and darkness. When we abruptly change the time, it can disrupt this delicate balance and throw off our rhythm.

One of the immediate effects of the clocks changing is a disruption in our sleep patterns, which can have a range of negative consequences. Minor disruptions to our sleep can impact our cognitive function, mood, and immune system.

In addition to disrupting our sleep and hormone levels, changing the clocks can also impact our mental and emotional well-being. The sudden shift in our daily routine can leave us feeling groggy, irritable, and out of sync with our surroundings.

Maintaining routines are so important especially when you have dementia, as familiarity and predictability can help reduce confusion and anxiety.

For me, the clocks changing brings my days out of sync, disrupting my rhythm and daily routine, even the lighter evenings brings unease.

I will get back into my routine, it will just take a little time.

Monday 8th April 2024

My daughter had phoned me on 30th March to say Harry was allowed out of hospital on Easter Sunday for the day once the nurses had been round to check him and give him his medication.

She made a suggestion of bringing Harry over to us, so we could spend sometime together and even possibly go and spend some time together on the beach.

Excellent idea!

Sam and Harry arrived just in time for lunch, unfortunately Harry is still not allowed food, he has to put up with the nutritional shakes which he has now been on for 8+ weeks.

After lunch we had a leisurely walk to the beach, where we played games for a while

I had to have a photo opportunity with everyone in the shot.

Me being me had to attempt a photo with my watch…Well I brought a few laughs, as I lay on the beach trying to get everyone in the frame

Love a bit of craziness every now and then!

Harry was beginning to tire, so we headed off for a treat…The ice-cream van!

Today Harry was allowed an ice lolly, nothing spectacular, just a bog standard fruit ice lolly, boy did he enjoy it!

We sat eating our treats, enjoying the fresh air, watching lots of people flying kites.

Ices enjoyed by all, we make our way back home so Harry can chill…don’t want to overdo things.

Last photo before they set off back to Manchester Children’s Hospital.

Keeping everything crossed for them to be discharged soon🤞

Harry being discharged didn’t go ahead as they would have hoped.

Harry has now been transferred to Airedale Hospital in Yorkshire.

The problem Harry has at the moment is getting his INR blood levels stable.

Harrys condition has not been straight forward because of his heart condition, so Manchester decided to transfer him to the hospital where his heart specialist is based.

The transition didn’t go exactly to plan as Manchester had failed to pass important information, so when it came to medication time, they hadn’t got the correct meds on the ward!

The communication between hospitals has been appalling!

Harry would not have been in this situation if the medical professionals spoke to one another months ago!

Apparently the NHS struggle to find info if you move counties!

It was October 2023 when crohn Disease was flagged up, when Harry was taken to Bournemouth Accident and Emergency Hospital, but the diagnosis from Bournemouth, was not followed up because Harry’s NHS care is in Lancashire!

We understand Harrys condition has been quite complex due to the diagnosis of crohns and his ongoing heart condition, but come on! It’s not rocket science to read Harrys medical notes!

This journey has not been an easy one for Harry or Sam, and is now affecting them both deeply.

One thing I don’t think the NHS take into consideration, is the impact on parent and child when undergoing a long stay in hospital, especially when information is not shared or explained. When medical professionals Do Not talk with one another.

The worst thing ever is to mention that you could possibly be going home tomorrow…Then when tomorrow comes you have all hope taken away!

Friday 5th April 2024

Thursday 14th March was a wet early start to my day, as I walked Toby and Sooty up to the beach.

The rain was relentless!

The dogs need there walk so I had no option, but to wrap up and get out!

Tell you something, me and the dogs were soaked by the time we got back in the house!

Not what I needed this morning!

Back home, wet clothes aside, I sit with a cup of tea in my hands, warming my numb fingers from the bitterly cold rain.

I don’t have much time to sit around this morning.

I get changed out of my damp clothes, into something more suitable for the event at the local hospice.

I collect my art work together, which I packed and prepared last night and set off on my travels to the local hospice.

The journey takes around 20 minutes at this time in a morning, what with all the heavy commuter and school traffic around.

As I pull into the carpark, there are plenty of spaces this morning. I manoeuvre into the nearest bay.

Out of the car, it’s brolly in one hand, bag with artwork in the other. Thank goodness I only have a short distance to walk to the Learning and Research Centre, don’t think I could with being soaked through a second time.

At the door I press the bell, I am immediately greeted by a smiling face, just as I try to explain I’m meeting Julie, Julie appears round the corner as if by magic.

We are both taken through to an area, spacious and empty. There are a couple of tables made into stands where we can advertise our information

Admiral Nurses, Dementia UK and also what groups are available in and around the Blackpool area.

The stand also gives me an opportunity to display some of my artwork connected to “How Dementia Makes Me Feel”

The event today will be for 6th form students studying subjects like criminology, sociology and healthcare, giving them all an opportunity to ask questions and also look around the hospice

It wasn’t majorly busy, but it was nice to have some of the students engaging and asking questions.

I never say or advertise the fact, that it is me living with dementia until way into a conversation, then I might just throw in a question like “ do you think there is anyone here today that has dementia?”

I then watch faces change, and listen for the intake of breath, when I say “it is me!”

“I am the person living with dementia!”

The shock on their faces says it all!

There is definitely Not enough education out there in the big wide world!

We need to educate younger people and get them talking about dementia!

One day some of these young students will become our future health care professionals.

We need those young people to make the changes.

We need for a more positive attitude towards dementia.