Friday 21st April 2023
Last week my daughter and grandson called.
The weather was awful, wind, rain and it was so cold!
When we arranged our little get together, I was hoping for a nice day…Possibly a beach day! Adam loves the beach and it’s always a treat to watch him playing and having fun.
My visitors arrived around 10.30am and Adam being Adam knew his mum had packed his lunch in a lunch bag. As soon as he stepped foot in the house he was immediately hungry! Clutching his little bag of goodies, which he was trying ever so hard to open.
He sits at the table with his spread off food in front of him, chitter chattering pointing at the many photos which pop up on our Portal.
Enthusiastically he names all the people and asks questions. When told the answers he remembers and repeated exactly what we have just said a thousand times! A little like myself I believe!
He always brings a smile to my face with his sunny disposition. I always used to sing “ You are my Sunshine” when he was smaller and if I sing it to him now, I always get a smile.
After lunch, the weather is starting to clear, so we grab our coats and head off to the beach.
With the new sea defence work underway the big diggers where of interest to Adam, only for a short while though, pebbles and puddles are so much more fun!
We laugh, we cheer, we clap as Adam finds stones to make big splashes.
This is what I enjoy the most about life, the little things!
The things that bring so much joy and happiness
A very simple hour playing on the beach with pebbles, even a cold windy day brought fun and laughter.
The hood that had room for two, with a mind of its own brought lots of laughter… I laughed till my sides hurt!
Even Toby had fun too
Oh how it feels good to laugh!
But this is where my laughter ended.
A couple of hours later, I had received another letter from the neurologist. This will be 3 letters in the last few weeks.
What is this neurologist trying to do?
Its getting scary now!
Anxiety at its highest!
Hospitals are my worst nightmare. I hate them with a passion, I think I have a bit of a phobia with hospitals and medication.
As I read the words of the letter, I’m upset, they are not a true account of our meeting.
The first words “ I had the pleasure”
I did not find the consultation pleasurable. I found it to be traumatic!
The words “ she came alone” !
I am quite capable of finding my own way to places, especially when I have been to before. The hospital is right opposite Stanley Park, a place I frequent often. I know this journey well.
My speech problems are noted as only when anxious, how does the neurologist know this? He has only seen me once for a very short period of time!
He continues in the letter with some of my symptoms and describes how I descend stairs backwards? I would have not said this! Simply because it is untrue.
Yes, I do struggle with stairs and I have done for quite a while, but I certainly don’t come down backwards! I think that could possible be unsafe!
So the outcome is :-
Referral back to the memory clinic for cognitive test to be done again.
Is it really necessary to put me or anyone through the trauma of testing again!
I am finding this chapter of my dementia journey difficult to deal with, I have decided to step away from blogging, podcasting and social media.
I feel like I have been targeted for trying to live well and show others, that dementia doesn’t have to mean the end.
For me it is an ending to publicising my journey with my sidekick.
This will be my last blog, so I will take the opportunity to thank all those that have supported me on my journey. Thank You 🙏
My Podcast will be ending too
I will still post photos.
I’m not going to stop something I love and find so therapeutically calming.
I definitely need time to heal
Life is too short!
Take care everyone
Thank you so much for your support