I woke around 3am I think it was, unable to get back to sleep, I look out the bedroom window and see the beautiful bright moon, every now and then it disappears behind a cloud…almost like playing hide ‘n’ seek with me.
As I look at the moon, to the right is a very bright star…or is it a planet? I have no idea which it is but I try to take a photo anyway.
Think I need a better camera! Ha! Ha!
Over the last few weeks I have done quite a bit of reading, not for myself. Yet again I have found myself saying yes to something, thinking It would possibly be a leisurely task.
I think I was either misinformed or I didn’t quite understand the work involved. Not wanting to back out of the task, I carried on regardless.
Once again I find myself muddling through, reading for what I thought was going to be a couple of days actually turned into weeks. This was hard graft for my head to take, leaving me with headaches from the eye concentration, also emotional from what I am reading. So much sadness and negativity, bringing my mood down, putting me in a sad place, making me think this I what I could be like in years to come, will my family be complaining about looking after me?
I found the work to be mentally and physically exhausting !
I am so fed up of reading, watching/seeing advertisements, just hearing negative things around dementia.
I just want to concentrate on the positives! The here and Now!
I’m 56 years old, I know what my outcome will be…We all do! With or without dementia!
So let’s enjoy our life. Look and you Will finds lots of positives!
Yesterday I felt exhausted…I could have moaned and groaned about how I was feeling, I could have sat in a chair all day! No I carried on doing less energetic tasks, going through photos…my wonderful memories of places I have visited, nature, the birds, my walks around parks, woodlands, beaches. All local I might add. The surprising thing is, all the photos are from the same places, all so different. The views, lighting, nature, it just changes every single day. Just so Magical!
I was so glad to have been exhausted…otherwise I wouldn’t have spent the time looking through my wonderful memories.
Today…Wow it’s windy, no beach walk or we will be sandblasted! Just a walk on the prom. A short walk today!
The wind has even snapped the chain on my hanging baskets, my own fault for not taking them down. I just wasn’t expecting it to be so windy. What a difference in the weather and temperature over the last 24 hours, it’s crazy!
Today I’m tired most probably did too much cleaning and sorting yesterday, I do sometimes forget that the simplest of things can take it out of me if done in excess.
I think most people do, including myself!
We forget that dementia interferes with daily living, in fact dementia interferes with lots of things.
I have noticed now that some days I just feel completely exhausted! Which is a big change for me.
I can tell I am tired today, even a simple task of making a cup of tea gets me muddled. I opening all the cupboards to find the cups, sighing and grunting to myself under my breath as I open the wrong cupboard doors. Then I put the wrong things into the cups.
So today even though I have told myself I am having an easy day, I find myself in front of my computer, tip taping away, pieces of work that need completing, also going through the many thousands of photographs that are building up, which I keep trying to decide which to delete and which to keep.
When I started this task of sorting through my photos a few weeks ago I did not realise
1. It would take me so long
2. How hard it would be deciding what to keep and what to delete…decisions…decisions!
As I scroll through the 20+ thousand photos. I eventually get the figure down to 17,265. which takes me to the beginning of April of this year…Only 4 more months to scroll through, which is quite a substantial amount of photos.
These will have to wait for another day as I have spent most of my morning on the computer. Time to give my eyes a rest before a headache kicks in.
I have lunch, then make some fresh lemonade .
I am waiting to go for a short walk, but we keep having the odd shower. Now waiting patiently for the shower to pass.
Eventually mid afternoon I’m out and about having a quiet but short walk in the woods, just me, Toby, camera and nature.
Just that 45 minute of calmness…The tweeting of birds, the quacking of the ducks, the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through the leaves. Just idyllic.
Back home I spend another hour at the computer before calling it a day.
I have now reached June and deleted 3,398 photos…well at least I have deleted a few thousand! Won’t be long before I’m back up to 20,000 again🤣
Yesterday our little Close was left shocked to hear the sad news that one of our neighbours had passed away in her home. This news was so unexpected. No illness. It has just been a total shock to all…So very sad.
This morning I had a leisurely walk at the Nature Reserve, a nice calm walk, watching all the little Goldfinches play, I have never seen so many all in one place. Then a model aircraft is launched, so off they fly into the surrounding trees and bushes
I was walking at the reserve one day last week… the Model Aircraft Club is situated at the edge of the reserve. There was a meeting, so lots of people all flying all different kinds of model planes. From a distance I could see all the seagulls circling, making such a racket. Wow! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing a large bird of prey…I zoom in with my camera frantically trying to get a good shot
What a fool I felt when I realised it was a model aircraft that looks like a Hawk!
Apparently these are used to scare off the birds so they have a clear area for flying.
I did laugh when I realised what it was!
Today I spot something totally different…It’s Freddie the Frog or is it Tommy the Toad? I really don’t know. He sat so very proud having his photo taken, he even looked like he was smiling for the camera ❤️
Back home from my walk, a cup of tea to return too, check through my mornings photos before starting any jobs.
This morning has been spent cleaning the outside of the house as all the brickwork on the new extension is nearly complete.
Well that passed the morning!
After lunch it’s time to write some of my blog and tidy out just a few of the kitchen cupboards. I thought that if I started to go through the cupboards sooner rather than later, Possibly won’t seem as bad when the time comes to empty completely.
So that’s been my day today…a day of sorting and cleaning.
As the Covid virus sweeps across our local area, temporarily closing some of our local pubs, shops and vets because of the rise in Covid cases, I do not know how they can say the numbers are dropping!
232 new cases was recorded in Blackpool last week, local businesses are now struggling with staffing levels as more and more tourists visit our area, this virus is definitely still out there! Take care!
I had decided on a different beach walk this morning, I just really needed a change of scenery.
Out for my morning walk …I just knew it was gonna be one of those days when I got out of bed this morning! I’m feeling really tense and can’t think why. It could be that my routine is still out of sinc…could be the lack of sleep or it could be hayfever making me feel groggy.
Another factor was Charlie dog wouldn’t do as he was told on our beach walk this morning so that got me off to a bad start. My leisurely morning walk, wasn’t so leisurely!
At last some different sea birds, I spot some little Turnstones on the rocks
Oh and a pigeon…now we don’t see many of those on the beach!
Back home, I realise I haven’t booked my place at the zoo. When I go to check in online…No all booked up for today! I can go after 2.30pm without booking, but it’s just far too busy for me then. I’m a little disappointed, but there is nothing I can do, I will just have to wait till next week.
I go back onto the Zoo’s booking page and book next weeks place. I now know I can definitely go next week 😊
I’m now having one of those days where I’m doing things, but nothing is going to plan.
I’m in the craft room trying to finishing off a project, which is muddling me slightly. I keep trying to get my video working, I need it to record my hands so people can see how to make the game. It’s been a while so the positioning of my iPad is causing me one or two problems.
Eventually! Yes ! Cracked it!
Video done! Now I have a major problem with YouTube can’t seem to upload my video! I’m now growling under my breath.
After a few hours of perseverance, at last video uploaded, I can now finish writing up my blog
I have been working on a game you can make with children or adults, that would be fun and also look nice.
I have called it Bee’s and Ladybugs…It’s just Naughts and crosses but with painted pebbles
You can see how to make this game with the link below, hope it works
Sleeping was difficult last night, I got up out of bed to get a freezer pack out of the freezer, I wrapped it in a towel and put it in my bed to try and make me feel cooler. Don’t think it worked, I was still fidgety and very very warm.
I decided to take some moon photos as it was a fabulous full moon last night, with a superb orange glow!
It was worth a couple of extra hours awake to capture this beauty.
I wake a little later than normal, think it was around 7.15am, which meant my early morning walk was a little later today.
Destination Nature Reserve with Toby, it is a little busier than my normal walk, I can cope as I have found a pathway which is always quiet, I don’t think many people know about it…not as yet anyway.
I found it the other day by accident and now go quite regularly as there always seems to be butterflies around. This morning was no exception. Beautiful Peacock Butterfly, it was the only the one flying around, but who needs more when this particular butterfly sits so still, it almost posing for me.
I was definitely pleased with my capture.
Home, jobs to be done then it will be time to chill. Most probably a sleep is on the cards after last nights lack of sleep.
All in all a much calmer day today!
Saturday – Dreams and Sketching
24th July 2021
Dreams can be so strange now, some very vivid, some quite disturbing. Last nights dream was a strange one… every single address I have ever lived, weird how I went into one property but came out of a different property …even my dreams confuse me! Sometimes they feel so real that when I wake it’s like I’m looking around to double check where I am, opening the bedroom door not really knowing what I will find. Then Toby and Charlie come running to greet me so I know exactly where I am.
Off to the beach this morning, it is a cloudy start to the day and so much cooler which I am thankful for, I’m not complaining as I do like the sunshine but it was getting a tad too warm.
Lots of ferries crossing this morning and little boats out at sea.
As it’s cooler today, I’m repotting some of my house plants so that is my morning job along with cleaning my fish tank out, a job I normally do every 7-10 day.
After lunch I do a couple of hours sketching, I didn’t realise how long I had actually been sketching for, until I was nearly finished and looked at the clock. I think this Lion sketch has got to be one of the hardest sketches I have done to date.
Sunday – A walk in the park
25th July 2021
I wake during the night, quiet a few times! As I look out my bedroom window there is the beautiful moon, staring straight back at me. Off I go to get my camera!
I wake a little later, possibly around 7am, which now throws me off my timing slightly and will continue to do so throughout my day.
I’m off to the park this morning, haven’t been for a few weeks as the last time I was there, there was nothing to inspire me, it was just so very quiet.
The same this morning, full of swans, I know swans are so elegant and very graceful and I do love them but I would just like a variety of different birds to photograph. I think I am just getting a little bored with the same places at the moment. I definitely need a change! Maybe when hubby is out of isolation he might take me some where different.
Home and just a few jobs to do. I decide to bake some buns as I have quite a lot of eggs…think I bought double this week! There’s a surprise! Any thing with quantities of shopping does not surprise me at all, I just go with the flow, no point letting it stress me.
I spend the afternoon in the garden, i though it was going to be cooler today as there was a few clouds around earlier…oh no it’s absolutely sweltering again! I sketch for a while, I make a couple of cards and I chill in the sun for the whole of 20 minutes…too hot …move into the shade to write up my blog.
I wake to hubby being notified to self isolate, someone at his place of work has tested positive…that’s 20+ people who are isolating that work in the same building.
The news throws me off track…into a frenzy almost, my head can’t think or take in what has happened. You don’t realise how much you rely on someone until they can’t do it for you! Which then gets me into a panic of …What If!
This “What If“ is now taking over my brain!
What if something happens to you and your not hear!
What if you get ill and I have to do everything!
Oh my goodness it’s like panic! I can’t function…I can’t think of what I should be doing! I give myself a good talking too “ Gail go and get your shopping “ “ just do what you normally do on Thursday morning “
This is easy for some to just carry on, but to me my routine has now changed, the routine which is so important to me. My beds aren’t made, the shower is not cleaned and I have to go shopping soon!
I leave to go shopping, shower not cleaned praying on my mind.
I also have to put petrol in the car, a job that I haven’t done for quite some years, I’m questioning myself now…another slight panic.
What side is the cap.
Will I put the correct fuel in.
Will I remember the number of the pump.
To you this might seem so simple, to me it’s like I have never put petrol into the car. A simple job I used to do on a regular basis before dementia. Petrol was a weekly routine when I was in employment.
I set off with shopping bags and list, a little uneasy to say the least. I decide to get the petrol out the way first, as I get into the car I’m checking where the petrol cap is situated, on which side of the car I need park to reach the petrol pumps. In my head I’m saying drivers side over and over, so I don’t forget.
By the time I reach the petrol station I have forgotten, lucky for me the only pump that was free, was on the correct side of the car! Sigh of relief!
Petrol payed for, now on to the shops, still feeling a little muddled by the change in routine, I forget things on my shopping list, but that’s quite normal anyway theses days.
I have a zoom that I have been Invited to join at 10.30am, indecisive and things on my mind I wonder if it’s a good idea. I join anyway and do quite enjoy the session of Self Portraits with Willy Gilder
Everyone in the group did so well, I do feel a little under pressure when working to a time limit. I also prefer silence when sketching so I can focus as I get easily distracted and my concentration goes else where. All in all it was a great art session
After the zoom session had finished, I go to make lunch when I am getting in a right old muddle, I throw food in the can and bottle bin, so all that has to be emptied and cleaned out, Hubby asking question after question my brain can’t take it as I have a meltdown! How the he’ll do I know how the Covid app works, what’s right and what’s wrong! Bloody Covid!! It seems to me like new rules and changes are out every minute to suit the person or the employer! It’s an absolute joke!
Hubby was told to self isolate this morning along with about 20 other staff where he works. This afternoon he has been told if he has been double jabbed he could return to work!
Is anyone taking any notice of what you are supposed to be doing now!
Does anyone really know what we can and can’t do anymore !
That’s it brain overloaded I fall asleep for a good 45 minutes, only to be asked more questions on Covid when i awaken….ahhhhh I feel like screaming!! Might feel better if I do!
I find photos of nature to calm me, I would prefer to be out with nature at this moment in time, but it’s far to warm for walking this afternoon …I’m seriously melting!
Another wonderful morning. I really need to make the most of this beautiful weather as it’s supposed to break soon, turning cloudy and possibly bring some rain by the end of the week.
I am a sunshine person, love the warmth of the sun on my face, having said that, this heat over the last few days has been extreme, so most of the time I am under the garden brolly. Lots of people I have spoken too are struggling with sleeping at night, welcome to my world…if the only time you can’t sleep is when it’s warm, you are very lucky! Lots of people with dementia including myself have trouble getting a full nights sleep most nights. Yes it can be debilitating, I just go with the flow of my crazy sleep patterns and sleep when I feel the need, which is most afternoons now. Even a power nap can help…sometimes.
Last night at 9.10pm I felt the urge to go and photograph the sunset, I was tired…I was also ready for bed…I quickly got changed but got myself in a muddle with rushing around trying to remember what I had to take with me.
I have to have things prepped now. Spur of the moment decision that only panics me and I end up in a right frenzy!
I set off, just got out the driveway forgot the poo bags, panic I’m gonna miss the sunset! All this thinking! Trying to remember! Poor Toby just follows wondering what the hell is going on, bless him he is so patient.
I eventually set off and make it in time.
Watching what looks like a ball of fire slowly sink behind the sea. I haven’t altered the colours on the photos they are so different because of me zooming in and out with the the camera lens
Just Beautiful to watch! Feel so lucky to live by the sea ❤️
Even though it was so busy with people watching, it was oh so silent until the sun disappeared. Then I heard “ it’s gone” all the cars start their engines and people walk on to their destinations.
Hubby’s day off work today, so we are planning doing something together. I’m up early so I do the dog walking and head off to the Nature Reserve.
On my return we decide to clean up outside the house where building work is being erected as it’s getting a bit messy and dusty. After the clean up a spot of lunch then off to the boat yard at Skippool Creak, parking the car up and doing a circular walk.
Boy it was hot, hubby had taken a couple of bottles of water, which I was glad of, my feet where throbbing by the time we got back to the car. It was a little further than I thought, I don’t think the heat helped any. It was a lovely change to see something different
On our return we had a treat, Strawberries, ice cream, cream. Then topped with chocolate sauce…Mmmm!
Only a short blog today as my day has been spent at home, far too busy out and about, it’s crazy!
Oh my goodness it just gets warmer!
I’m out for a beach walk with Toby and Charlie this morning, what did I forget…My camera and my phone!
My morning job is to cut the dogs, it does take me quite a while now to complete, I get there eventually. This is one job I don’t know how long I will be able to carry on doing…it just takes me so long
So that’s my morning gone! 4 hours of cutting and shaving, hair everywhere. It’s great the weather is so nice so I can use the outdoor space to create the hairy mess.
After the dogs hair cuts, i am full of dog hair! It just gets everywhere! A shower is needed to clean up, stop the itching from all the hair and also help me cool down!
Feeling tired, I have lunch then chill for a while, under the shade of the garden brolly.
A little gardening later, but it’s far to warm to complete, so back resting.
My daughter messaged to confirm she has tested positive for Covid and feels rubbish. So that’s 1 grandson and 1 daughter within a matter of days with Covid. Symptoms headache, bodily aches, coughing and generally feeling unwell, also my other grandson has tested positive but is symptom free. So that’s everyone positive for Covid in their household, all with different or no symptoms.
This is so tough as no one can help out as they are all in isolation, even though she is feeling so poorly, she has to look after herself and her boys!
With Covid restrictions lifted this is a worrying time, as this disease is still spreading and numbers are definitely on the increase.
Our local newspaper headline yesterday…Blackpool records 197 new Covid cases in 24 hours as England lifts most restrictions.
A great nights sleep, wow only waking once and straight back to sleep. It’s a beautiful sunny morning with a very clear blue sky, the birds are chirping away at the bird feeder so loud I can hear them all the way into our house.
Me and Toby are off to the Nature Reserve this morning for our walk. It is so warm and it’s only 7.10am, I think my little black four legged friend is struggling with the heat today as he is very lethargic as we walk.
Boy it’s gonna be a hot one today!
I have decided to risk the zoo this morning as I haven’t been for 2 weeks. Mondays is the zoo’s quietest day of the week. As I pull up in the car there is already a cue to get in. Once through the gates I now know where’s a good place to start …the last bit of the zoo is first for me! Everyone always starts at the beginning of the zoo and works there way round to the end. So I make my way to the last animal enclosures to work backwards…no one around! …Heaven!
After 90 minutes, the crowds are now building, this is where I loose concentration and start getting agitated. The background noise grows…people/children cut in front, pushing to get to the viewing points, time for me to exit. I have captured some photos, maybe of not every anima, does it matter? No because there is always another day!
I’m seriously melting today in this heat, inside or outside is just hot, hot, hot. No escaping the heat today!
I have been crafting on and off for the last few days, a few more Christmas cards made. This time i have added a spinning snowflake.
I have also been painting some tiny watercolours to use within my card making ( you can see how small these paintings are as I have added a 50pence in the photo so you can see the actual size)
As the afternoon wears on the heat is taking its toll and leaves me feeling exhausted!
Before I go to bed, I spot the moon shining so bright, not seen Mr Moon for such along time, so camera out and capture a few photos
Terrible nights sleep, again so fidgety, it is like I don’t want to relax, I just want to move, yet so tired. Don’t know what this is all about!
Just after 7am destination Nature Reserve, nice and quiet, only the birds making any sound this morning, apart from when we walk on the gravel pathway and you can here a crunch underfoot.
It’s a little foggy over the Wyre Estuary, which adds a certain eeriness
Plenty of little birds darting in and out of the bushes and long grasses, a little to quick for me! I keep telling them to slow down, but they are not listening!
We walk further round, you can feel the morning getting warmer and warmer, I think Toby feels it too as he now has his long pink tongue hanging from the side of his mouth.
Overlooking the Estuary is Hillhouse Tech Enterprise, it’s the world headquarters of Victrex PLC who make polymers, AGC Chemicals and others.
In 1890 the Fleetwood salt company was based at this site as they had discovered millions of tons of rock salt at Preesall under the countyside Over Wyre.
We carry on with our walk over to the duck pond, most still sleeping until they realise it’s me and I have breakfast
Not long before they are squabbling over food!
I’m not hanging around this morning as I need to go into Blackpool. I cannot remember the last time I went on a tram, never mind go into Blackpool. Must have been before the first big lockdown!
I miss the first tram as I got my timings all wrong. I always was on time for everything before I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, this is one thing that has definitely changed over the last few months…time keeping…what time keeping!
On the tram it’s not too bad, everyone has a mask on and not too busy, so all good. Then we reach the Norbrek Hotel and people just pile on, now like sardines and not everyone has a mask on. It’s no good restricting the seating if you are going to have people standing over you…that just defeats the object of a safe space!
I talk to my daughter on my phone for most of the way, which is a very welcome distraction, but not a good news phone call, one of our grandsons has Covid! Good grief what is it at the moment with our family! I keep telling myself it’s just a bad run and things can only get better!
I arrive in Blackpool around 9.20am so pretty quiet. Camera straight out of my bag, off I go clicking away.
I have a quick wander onto the prom, I don’t walk very far as I have already done my morning walk and knowing me I will over do things, then have to struggle back to the tram stop.
I don’t stay too long in Blackpool, just long enough to get the things I need and return home to the piece and quiet of my garden.
Well I feel like I have achieved something today…I braved public transport!
Time to chill in the garden for the rest of the day.
After tea me and hubby have a lovely walk on Fleetwood Prom, it was such a beautiful evening we couldn’t resist.
It gave me that holiday feeling…when you have eaten your evening meal then go for a stroll in the evening sun. The heat of the day cooling but only slightly, we could still feel the warmth on our backs as we walked slowly on the prom, taking in the views, watching families play on the beach, enjoying their beach huts, laughter and enjoyment filled the air, just a real summery holiday feel to the evening.
We walked back through the park which backs on to the prom, what a wonderful sight, blue and white sheets all hanging like flags, blowing in the breeze. Smaller coloured flags with messages on.
All the blue and and white flags are made from hospital bed sheets, a tribute to the NHS and all those who have lost their lives in the Covid-19 pandemic. The artist whom created, was Luke Jerram.There is also a smaller area filled with small flags with written messages/thoughts from the Fleetwood residents. White signifying what they have lost as the result of the pandemic, Orange showing their gains Yellow their hopes for the future. The messages are so beautiful, some so moving.
What a beautiful evening.
Diary – A Sketching kinda afternoon
Saturday 17th July 2021
It looks like another hot day, so out for an early walk with Toby before it gets to hot for dogs and me! I have a zoom at 11am so trying to get most of my jobs out of the way before I join.
After my zoom meeting, I sketch a little. I received a very colourful gift in the post last week. Which was such a surprise, out of the blue, very excited to try these wonderful colours.
Because the colour are so bright and colourful, they have inspired me to try something different
I thought a skater boy would be hip hop, bright. Listening to music. I think the bright colours makes it youthful and bright, gives the sketch another dimension. It’s just different and fun! So now I’m playing around with these colourful vibrant wands of magic 😊
My afternoon has been taking it easy sketching, oh and I nearly forgot here is the 4 Amigos latest film. We finally met again after a few weeks apart to record our latest film on Annual Dementia Reviews …What are those? Never even heard of a Dementia Review!
Diary – Another Hot One!
Sunday 18th July 2021
Yesterday afternoon until the evening apparently part of our prom was closed, we had seen and heard the police helicopter, then the coast guard for hours circling around the coast line, sweeping the area. So we knew something had happened.
Then we saw the sad news that a person was missing.
The sea is so treacherous, even when looking calm and inviting. Living so close to the sea we hear of so many sad outcomes.
The tide comes in so quickly, never comes in straight, it always curves around the back of you. Leaving you stranded on a small island of sand until eventually you have no option but to wade through the tidal water with the strong currents pulling you away.
If you are visiting beaches please be aware of the tide time.
After a rubbish nights sleep I’m off later than usual to the beach, as we are later the beach is now busier
The beach also has other visitors today…the jellyfish!
From small ones to extremely large ones, Lions Mane & Blue (Scientific name: Cyanea lamarckii)
Something different to photograph!
Home, sort my jobs and then melt in the sun…I think it will be melt in the shade today!