Diary – Podcast

Thursday 21st January 2021

Day 17 of Lockdown

I have a bad night as my head won’t shut down so up I get and go to the computer to finish of a couple of things I have been working on.

At around 3am i decide to go back to bed…creeping around the house trying not to disturb hubby or the dogs. I usually go into the craft room but the wind is getting up outside and it’s a little scary to be wandering to the bottom of the garden, so I stay in the house as I feel safer.

I wake again at 7.20 am the rain is pelting against the windows… I have to go out in this as its food shop morning!

I’m tired today…no energy…everything seems hard work. Getting dressed seems difficult this morning.

I’m out shopping a little later than usual and I know that my head is not quiet with me…it’s as if I have a piece missing today.

I go into M&S but can’t work out what I’m buying, I look at my list but it doesn’t register with my brain so now I’m trying to figure out what we normally eat and on what day…don’t know if I need it or not…but that’s how it’s going this morning.

I finish and wander up the Main Street I know I have something else to do but can’t figure out what, can’t find my list ! I give in and head back to the car.

9.30 ish I’m home, wash my hands and just sit in the kitchen. I turn the tv down as the noise is irritating me and before I know it it’s 10.40am, what has just happened where did that hour go? All the shopping still in the bags in the hallway!

I put the shopping away and tidy round the house.

The weather is still wet and very windy so I think a walk this morning is out of the question.

I do a couple of deep hug bears…if I do a couple each day I will be finished in no time…well that’s my plan!

I have a FaceTime with my daughter after lunch. Lovely to see my grandsons …would be so much better if I could see them face to face! So hard when for nearly 12 months we have not had the grandchildren for a sleepover. It would be so nice just to give them a break. So many families can’t support each other because of the lockdown and I just can’t see the end which is so frustrating.

Late afternoon…hurray I’m out with hubby, Toby and camera

This little lone Oyster Catcher wandering down the beach

Very stormy sky

Toby checking out the beach, keeping watch!

Mary’s Shell

Home and I receive an email from Ron to say Podcast now live…woo exciting

It’s been a busy few months with all sorts of projects materialising.

Another proud moment thank you to Ron and Karen for all their hard work and for making this happen.

To finish off my day, I take my first successful photo of the moon

Diary – Deep Hug

Wednesday 20th January

Day 16 of Lockdown

Another day in lockdown

Strange times we live in at the moment and what really gets to me is when you see and hear of people visiting others!

I would love is to be able to sit with my family, have a brew and a natter…hold them for that hug…the one I have longed for…for such a long time now.

The one thats been so long ago that I can’t remember what it’s like to feel their arms wrapping tightly around my body…the warmth…the security…the love.

As I write I have a tear in my eye as I miss them so much, I bet I can count on one hand how many times I have seen my parents…children and grandchildren in the lockdown months and on those occasions we didn’t hug! We couldn’t! Restrictions!

Winter seems to be making the restrictions so much harder, especially waking to the dark morning, where I can’t just take off for an early walk on the beach. I have to wait! I am constantly looking out of the window checking to see if it’s light enough to be able to venture out…watching the clock as the hands of time move so slowly. Then as soon as I can see a bit of lightness I reach for my coat and I’m off!

Then when I’m out, the time passes so quickly and I don’t want it to end…but I can’t stay out all day as I may need the toilet!!

So today I carry on doing what WE have ALL been told to do.

Today it feels so much harder!

Today I take myself off with my camera to forget about the Covid world and focus on the wildlife…whom are all enjoying their time of togetherness.

Then the rain came down and me and camera was rained off.

So I wander back feeling refreshed by the rain on my face and also a little disappointed I could not spend longer snapping away with my camera.

The rain gets all to much for this little Coot

This little tree sparrow came to say hello as the rain came down

The fog rolled in making everything hazy

Cheeky Magpie on his own playing hide ‘n’ seek in and out of the bushes

I think I could have done with an underwater camera today, cause when the rain started it certainly came down!

I splash my way home!

I have an early lunch today as I am joining the facilitators zoom meeting as a guest today.

A few weeks ago I embroidered some teddy bears.

This little project was something I just could not refuse…Wooo working with bears ❤️

The money for the bears was very kindly donated by Rachel Niblock’s Mum.

All nominations where emailed through to Rachel and today I was honoured to actually draw 6 nominations who will receive a deep hug bear. I really wish I could have fulfill every nomination with a bear as lots of us need a hug right now

I so enjoy producing the bears in my own time ( definitely wouldn’t have earned my bonus on piece work ha! ha! ).

Definitely gave me a purpose though and brought back lots of busy, happy memories of Bears4u.

One thing I do know is…I definitely couldn’t produce bears like I used to! Good job there was no rush for these bears!

I was a little emotional after the meeting as I had held my emotions in…as Chris M, Dori, Chris N, George and Rachel gave me some wonderful praises about how I have helped people with my crafting and how much I have encouraged others.

I am not very good at taking praise as I don’t do anything for recognition…I do it to help others…that’s just how I am.

I’m just Me!

I’m just Gail!

Diary – On Autopilot

Tuesday 18th January 2021

Day 15 of Lockdown

Sleep didn’t happen last night I think I managed to get 2 to 3 hours in total… I was in the craft room for most of the night wide-awake.

I tried a different leaf ( only in early stages as yet)

The rain is back with a vengeance

We have been given a flood warning in our area and the rain just comes down…it’s relentless and I have to go out to collect my new glasses.

Roads and gardens in the area are now extremely water logged so flooding will be a problem for some people in the area

We put better drainage in our garden when we landscaped the other year, so our garden is water free.

Today I’m on autopilot, so I am only doing what I have to do today.

I’ll most probably collapse in a heap later.

As the day goes on my head gets a little fuzzy, could be because of the tiredness kicking in…or it could just be my dementia…who knows.

When I get the fuzzy feeling it’s as if my head is not actually attached to me if that makes any sense it’s quite a strange feeling. Today is a mild fuzz so I can cope with that… I try and carry on but always find it difficult to concentrate.

I do sometimes make things worse, as I don’t know when to stop and do struggle with just relaxing.

I speak with Ron late morning Ron…great to have a catch-up

I call my Mum after lunch ( Mum and Dad ok )

It’s been a catch-up kind of a day! Well it stops me from rushing round…not that I have the energy to rush around today.

Well I certainly can’t get outside with my camera today, the weather has no signs of clearing…it’s awful !

I take a few photos inside the house.

Charlie Dog a chilling!

Saw all these little birds all holding on so tight on the telephone wires ( over the roof tops)

The wind blew and the rain came down.

Diary – Muddled

Monday 18th January 2021

Day 14 of Lockdown

Last night I went for my shower as I always do every night around 6.30 – 7pm

Just Part of my normal routine…so you would think that there wouldn’t be any problems or issues.

I have showered in shampoo before today, confused as the bottles where the same colour…it wasn’t until the aroma of coconut started to enter my nostrils that I realised…This smell was definitely not my shower gel!

Tonight I got the right shower gel, but when I started to get dressed in what should have been my night clothes…I proceeded to dress in the clothes I had already taken off!

Just love my sidekick!

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Me, Hubby and the dogs are out and about before 9am this morning, didn’t take my camera as it wasn’t very good light and I was busy searching for a nice piece of driftwood for a project.

Once we had done our beach walk, we then decided to go and look at the ducks and have a walk through The Towers as it’s called…just a small woodland area near to where we live. I just wanted to take photos of something different.

I was so surprised when we heard what I thought could have been a woodpecker….I pointed my camera as hubby gestured where the noise was coming from and there he was The Great Spotted Woodpecker ❤️

Excitement! Wow! Wow! I am so loving my camera ❤️

I have been getting in a muddle lately with my diary, think I could do with a personal assistant!

I don’t know what it is with me and all the muddling at the moment. This is a pretty recent thing that has just started to happen. I don’t think I have got back into my routine since Christmas…well I am hoping that is all it is!

Me and my diary are having crossed wires! A lot of crossed wires!!

Hubby had to sort things out this morning when I got an email, as I was all muddled with dates and times. Never mind it’s not the end of the world! Hubby sorted me out!

Zoomettes tonight and I got my timing all wrong, so I was late joining…glad I did join though as we did have a jolly good laugh!

My bladder couldn’t take anymore laughter! So I had to leave! 🤣😂

Diary – Weekend is here again!

Friday 15th January 2021

Day 11 of Lockdown

My morning started at 4 am, as I was woken with the pain in my back.

I didn’t do to bad last night with sleep…I got a good eight hours, as I was in bed at 8.30pm.

I go into the craft room and Toby follows me which is a surprise, he normally stays asleep in his bed, but this morning he must’ve wanted to be near me.

I finish the painting off which I started last week and also start on another.

8am Me the dogs and camera set off for the beach. It is soooo slippery underfoot… I just keep saying all the way to the beach is slowly, slowly…as the dogs are pulling on their leads. We arrive at the beach the odd slippery skid but in one piece and stayed upright! It is soo cold…biting and nipping into my face. As we head off home the fog is starting to roll in.

Home and a hot chocolate to warm myself up

When I leave the house to go into the craft room the fog has descended…it’s freezing fog! Not going back out again today far to slippery and no thaw insight.

So I’m going to embroider a few teddy bears tops…it is working progress as i am certainty not as quick as I used to be. To be realistic I am sticking to a few a day so I can concentrate and no mistakes are made.

When we had our business Bears4u I was producing 30 – 40 bears a day some days and these bears all had to be gift wrapped and packaged. Definitely a difference in production times now my sidekick Alzheimer’s is in charge …or thinks he / she is!

I manage another watercolour, something a little different to leaves

Time to chill as my back is giving me some grief again!

Saturday 16th January 2021

Day 12 of Lockdown

These weekends seem to come around so quickly…doesn’t seem two minutes ago since the last one!

Well back to the wet miserable rain…now I’m getting fed up as I can’t get out with my camera! Looks like another soggy dog walk.

The back pain continues, if I’m stood I’m ok…if I’m laid flat I’m ok…sitting ouch! Ouch! So uncomfortable and I have no idea what I have done

I finish a couple more watercolour painting

Paintings never turn out the same they are always different

The day brightens and we eventually get out with the camera in the afternoon

At the moment its all crafting, and the camera…both are giving me plenty of enjoyment and keeping me occupied.

Sunday 17th January 2021

Day 13 of Lockdown

We are out and about trying to catch the sunrise

No the clouds came in!

I still got some great photos, far too many to share, so here are just a few

I have found that while I am focusing on capturing the photo, I actually stop breathing!

Then once I have taken the photo… I breath again.

This is most strange, as I feel as though I am going to hyperventilate.

Photos taken from the nature reserve in Fleetwood

https://www.visitfleetwood.info/about/parks/river-wyre-fleetwood-marsh-nature-park/

I don’t think I am going to have much time for zooming…This Camera is becoming quite addictive !

Diary – Relentless Rain

Thursday 14th January 2021

Day 10 of Lockdown

I wake in the early hours of the morning I think it’s about 3:10 3:15 am with a slight pain in my side or is it my back can’t decide…I only know that it is uncomfortable. Can’t decide if I’ve twisted my back or could possibly be something else, who knows.

As the morning goes I don’t feel too bad.

I do my Thursday morning food shop…I’m in and out of the supermarket and home in superfast time…

1. Don’t particularly want to be out long

2. Don’t like busy shops / supermarkets

3. I have a meeting this morning regarding card making sessions.

The rest of my morning Is spent sewing and sorting out hooded tops for Bears.

This is not one of my favourite jobs as my Mum used to sew all the hooded tops when we had our business Bears4u…I could really do with her help right now, but COVID restrictions have put a stop to that happening!

I carry on slowly, eventually sorting out all the hooded tops…boy I’m glad that job is out of the way!

Whilst talking with Philly this morning, I’m interested to find out more about her new venture of felting and the wonderful sea and sky scapes she produces…I thought I would share a link to her wonderful creative work for you all to see and also a little about Philly.

FullMoonFelting

Unique contemporary felt art, inspired by – and created in – the remote Outer Hebrides

Philly lives at the northernmost tip of the Isle of Lewis in the Outer Hebrides, Scotland. In her art She try to capture the essence of the seas and skies which surrounds her daily life.

She creates her feltings in a small cottage in the crofting community of Ness. With the traditional needle-felting technique to combine threads of fine merino wool and mulberry silk into dramatic land-, sea- and sky-scapes. She selects wool of colours and textures which reflect the natural wildness of this remote island. The silk picks up the gleam of sunlight or moonlight on water or clouds. 

Each of her felting is unique and takes many hours to create. I hope you like the end result!

https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/FullMoonFelting?ref=seller-platform-mcnav

So my day has just been plodding on at my own pace with a little sewing until mid afternoon. Then as usual tiredness kicks in.

No walk today… I’m usually out all weathers but not today!

So the only photos today are of the odd Seagull landing on chimneys and roof tops.

Diary – A visit to the optician

Wednesday 13th January 2021

Day 9 of Lockdown

This morning I have to sort myself out asI have an eye test at the opticians.

Firstly I take Charlie and Toby for a walk, it’s a quick one this morning as it’s absolutely throwing it down. So it’s just round the block for us today, no playing on the beach for taking photos with the camera.

I have to be at the opticians for 9:25 am I don’t know what it is with me at the moment but before the dementia I was always on time…I had everything planned and was never rushing around…I was so organised.

Now it’s a totally different story as my dementia muddle me slightly. This morning I thought I had plenty of time to take the dogs out as it was a quick walk.

I also thought I would have plenty of time to come home get dressed and sort myself out for the appointment. How wrong was I.

I get so distracted with other things and knew that I should not have opened social media, because before I know it, its 8:50 am.

Now I only have 10 minutes in which to get changed and sort myself out. I have to make sure I’ve got everything… turned everything off…locked the doors…sort dogs out …oh oh panic strikes as usual as Im getting myself a little flustered.

I am ready on time, so why do I get like this?

I can get worked up over the slightest little bit of a thing now, especially if it’s not going how it should…or how I think it should.

Little things become big things and before i know it…flustration, anxiety and panic sets in.

After getting flustered I did reach my appointment on time. The optician on the other hand hadn’t even shown up. The ladies whom work in the shop where very nice and helped me choose some glasses before the optician arrived to save on time.

All different rules now in the shop because of COVID which is hard to take in, but hey ho I managed after a few reminders from the lovely staff.

The optician arrived in a unfriendly manner, which made me wary and uneasy. I didn’t particularly like his manner and I hadn’t met this optician before. One question he asked about my driving glasses…making reference to Alzheimer’s and driving…forgotten exactly how he put it, but mmm he was surprised I was driving whilst having Alzheimer’s or something like that.

It was one of those roll my eyes, head shake and sigh moments!

I preferred the last optician he was a lovely friendly man, always jolly and polite. He made things clear with simple explanations, felt much more comfortable .

Home, time to make a brew and join the Diarist Zoom meeting. Lots of happy smiling faces! Now that feels better…I forget all about the optician and enter the zoom world of friendly people all whom understand dementia. An hour of zoom with friends is just what I needed.

After a very wet grey miserable day, I thought I would finish with some photos of flowers to make it feel brighter.

Diary – Wonderful Morning, a whole new world

Tuesday 12th January 2021

Day 8 of Lockdown

Well I hope today is a brighter day.

Since my new camera arrived it’s been nothing but rain, mist, fog or just generally grey and miserable with bad light.

So this morning I took myself off to the nature reserve, I’m hoping to get some good shots of the sunrise and also the wildlife. Me, Toby and the camera set off.

We arrive just after 8 am at the nature reserve which is around 5 minutes from home, so plenty of time to set myself up for the Sunrise. There’s a few dog walkers around but they’re well out of my way, so I don’t have to worry about Toby running off, or wanting to chase other dogs.

I can just relax and enter my new world.

Camera at the ready and I begin to click, click, click, I take photos of everything that is insight, I walk a little, I stop a little, click, click, click, and this is how it goes for the next hour and 45 minutes. I could not believe where the time had gone, I had taken over 50 photographs some of them were rubbish which I deleted straight away but some I really liked and that’s the main thing, I like the photos…they made me happy, I was so pleased with my little self.

Wonderful couple of hours spent in a different world, the world of nature, the world that’s calm, the world that’s quiet and a world which I very much enjoyed!

So it’s a big thank you to Wendy Mitchell for giving me some camera advice and encouraging me to put down my phone and pick up a camera.

I am so happy with my new little toy…my new camera!

Sunrise at the Nature Reserve

Beautiful Swans

Entrance to the Reserve

Was so difficult to just choose a few photos!

I have had such a beautiful morning

My day has been so much calmer than yesterday… just been taking things easier. I did a little too much yesterday …I won’t learn, cause I find it hard to change and slow down. As for the reasoning…to me that’s like giving in. I’m not ready to let dementia control me…even though it does have a dam good try…the one thing dementia definitely controls is my sleep or lack of! So it’s no wonder I’m always exhausted in an afternoon.

Woo hubby came home with beautiful flowers for me, what a lovely surprise!

I did manage a short walk late afternoon, just to capture a few photos from Rossall Beach

Blackpool Tower photo taken from Rossall Beach which is in between Fleetwood and Cleveleys late afternoon

Old fishing boat, way out at sea

A day of taking things easy.

Just clicking away with my camera capturing nature and surrounding views. Heavenly!

Diary – Got my routine back!

Monday 11th January 2021

Day 7 of Lockdown

Last night we watched Robins Wish an interesting documentary about the actor Robin Williams, the documentary focuses on his life and the undiagnosed Lewy body dementia. One that is frequently misdiagnosed.

In the documentary it talks about his lack of sleep, anxiety, depression, hallucinations and Robins decline before he took his own life. Robin had no idea why he was having dreams, hallucinations and all the anxiety insecurities that was taking over his life. They had seen doctors asked if there was a possibility of dementia, but it was ruled out.

Wasn’t until the autopsy that Lewy body dementia was uncovered.

A very sad but honest documentary.

Doctors should really listen to their patients symptoms more.

Dementia diagnosis is so important to the patient as you do feel like you are going mad!

Once I had my diagnosis I could relax a little…that was once I had got over the initial shock! You then realise you are not going crazy and that it is the dementia that is causing you to do the things you do and react in ways you might not have reacted before. Dementia is a strange disease which slowly changes a person, it takes pieces of you bit by bit and is constantly changing, throwing new challenges at you.

The way I cope is just go with the flow. For me the lack of sleep can be a real challenge, but no good fighting it…your brain will sleep eventually. I just find things to occupy me and hopefully that will tire me out.

I do eventually sleep, it might be an hour it might be more who knows! Only my sidekick knows!

Keeping positive! keeping occupied! keeping active!

This Is My key to helping me cope with my symptoms.

Hubby is back at work today…woop routine!

I find myself wanting to catchup on so many things, that I am going around in circles.

I start on some cleaning as it’s too early to walk the dogs.

Off comes the bedding as I start cleaning the bedroom…then distracted so I’m in the living room…whoops then the kitchen…I start cleaning the oven then realise the time and the fact Toby is talking to me through the art of whining!

It’s a very dull damp morning so I don’t take my camera, only my phone and Toby of course.

When I get to the beach the waves are crashing in, there are kite surfers about so now I am regretting not having my camera. I quickly head off for home with Toby drop him off at home pick up my camera and quick sharpish head back to the beach. I forget all about the cleaning and the upheaval I have left at home as I click click away with my camera

Mary’s Shell

Random branch washed up on the beach

Kite surfer setting up

The ferocious sea

Not the best time of day or the best weather conditions, but just had to capture the ferocious sea today.

On my way back home I realise that I have done a little too much walking as my feet are aching so much, I am troubled with my feet now as I get pains shooting from the ball of my foot to my toes and it’s very painful when it flares up, but I keep putting off going to my doctors hoping it will get better.

Back home to the reality…whoops every room is untidy from me starting, but not finishing my cleaning jobs, so I make a cup of tea get my head together. Then I can set too on cleaning and putting everything back as it should be.

By 1pm I’m finished, tired out but oh boy it feels good to have my routine back!

Diary – Weekend

Friday 8th January 2021

Day 4 of Lockdown

I wake this morning around 6:15am…I feed the dogs and then make myself a cup of tea before heading off into the craft room. I have been working on cutting some embellishments out, these are to be added to card packs I am putting together to make your own cards, possibly for crafting sessions or just for my own personal use.

I spend about an hour to an hour and a half and then return to the house where I get changed and take Toby for a walk.

It is absolutely freezing this morning, it is so cold that when I get to the beach, we immediately turn and head off home. Even though I have gloves on my fingers are going numb with the cold…my chin is going numb and so is my nose. I quickly head off for home…I need the warmth where I can have a hot cup of tea and thaw out.

 Once I have thawed out, I sort myself out and a quick tidy round in the house and then I’m back in the craft room…I am now surrounded by pieces of card and dies to make my embellishments

Before I know it’s lunchtime, so back into the house for lunch…a quick sandwich and then I have a FaceTime with Chris, always good to catch up with friends.

It’s been a strange sort of a day, mainly cold and wet outside. Woo we did have a tiny bit of snow…which didn’t last long at all and it was only a slight dusting.

So we haven’t been able to get out for our long walk with the new camera which is slightly disappointing. I do take a photo of a seagull sat on top of the telephone pylon, which was on the next street.

I was quite impressed with the camera quality at such a distance.

It really makes a difference when you can get out for a walk, just walking past time and you feel like you’ve done something… you’ve been somewhere.

When you’re stuck in the house all day, time seems to go slow and you get stuck with what to do…everything seems to become mundane and boring.

I do like to have at least one long walk a day, I know we can’t stop chattering in close proximity, but we can still say hello from a distance, even just a wave or the nod of achnowledgment makes the day brighter… it perks you up! You feel like you have had some people contact.

I do a few sketches later in the day, so that I have something to paint at a later date as I haven’t done any watercolours for the last few days and I need to have a change from doing card making or getting the card kits ready.

So for an hour so I lose my self in sketching

The sketches might not look much at the moment but once I’ve added the colour of the watercolour paints they just seem to come alive.

The paintings aren’t always a success, and when I’m sketching my rubber is my best friend! It doesn’t matter how many mistakes I make, as I’m enjoying myself, and that’s all that matters.

Saturday, the 9th of January 2021

Day 5 of Lockdown

I didn’t have the best nights sleep and I was in the craft room by 4 am this morning. I painted a couple of of watercolour paintings and packed up a few more card packs.

8.45am out for our morning walk with hubby and the dogs, camera in hand…not a very good morning for photos it’s a really bad light, quite hazy but I try a few photos can’t resist.

Later this afternoon I have a zoom meeting…Its the Book Launch for the Time and Place Collected Poems

#Proudmoment

So wonderful to meet up with everyone again and listen to a few poems too. It was a lovely afternoon…a very special afternoon ❤️

It I s not every day you are so lucky to be involved in such a Wonderful project and have your own poems published along with lots of other poems. All written by very talented people and we all have a diagnosis of dementia.

The book is a available from Waterstones and also Amazon

Sunday 10th January 2021

Day 6 of Lockdown

This morning at wake around 5am I make myself a cup of tea let the dogs out and then go into the craft room. I finish off a painting of a fern which I started a couple of days ago. I finish the painting around 6.45am…go back into the house to feed the dogs and make another cup of tea.

8.30 ish. me hubby and the dogs are on the beach, it’s a very grey morning and so it’s not very clear for taking photos the waves are crashing on rolling in…the sea looks quite rough this morning and there’s hardly anyone around as the tide is high so there is no sand for the dogs to run on…just pebbles this morning .

It is not as cold this morning and there was no frost last night, so that’s a positive.

I’m having another day in my craft room today finishing off card packs.

At 3.00pm I have near enough finished… quite a few packs all put together ready to be made up into cards.

So a busy crafting weekend.