Diary – Changes

Friday 15th August 2025

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What would I say if anyone was to ask me if my symptoms have changed or how they have changed over the last 6 years.

I can’t really remember everything, I know in the beginning I was struggling to retain recent information and I still do today, if it’s not written down.

I would say that retaining information has gotten much worse, if it’s not written down it simply never existed.

I have to write myself a list of things every day, just general things that I have to do, or things I need to do. My life now revolves around lists, lists and more list, notice boards, diary, phone and a little Alexa.

Alexa

Alexa, mmm, I have now defriended her!

She just doesn’t listen, she is getting quite annoying, she stresses me out!

The voice recognition is not perfect and can misinterpret my accent and commands. This just lead to me getting confuse, angry and upset.

Alexa requires specific phrases to understand commands. If i cannot remember the exact wording or command …what use is she?

If you are not nearby when the reminder comes through …what use is she?

All these gadgets are great if you input the information correctly, If you don’t they are as useful as a chocolate fire guard!

The thing is, for Alexa to work I have to remember to use the device, now I forget what the device is even there, so now the devices just sit in the corners of our rooms. I have very little engagement with her now.

Emails and messages

Managing my inbox with multiple emails or messages can be overwhelming. I find it hard to keep track of ongoing conversations, leading to missed replies or forgotten messages.

I also sometimes find it hard to explain thoughts and questions when writing this has become increasingly difficult to find the right words. You have no idea how long it takes me some days to attempt to write my blog, even today I am struggling to find the correct words, so far I have been writing and changing text for a good hour and I am no where near finished…it’s exhausting!

Then when i think i have finished, i read through to double check and still there are lots of mistakes, it sometimes feels overwhelming.

Cognitive function

I suppose my cognitive function is declining and will carry on to do so.

I never know what day it is or the month, my watch tells me that.

Names of people come and go, I very rarely call people by their name. Our neighbours names are a mystery, I just use the house numbers when talking to hubby because the numbers are visible from our window. If i do talk to the neighbours, those passing pleasantries, there are no need for names thank goodness.

I often get my doctors muddled from a doctor I had over 30 years ago.

I can’t remember family birthdays or their ages…I have no clue how old my grandchildren or children are, I even get my own age wrong!

I have a laminate Birthday List…I just have to remember to look at it! I do have reminders on my phone too, but if I don’t act on that reminder it just disappears without a trace.

I often find myself staring into a world of nothingness, not knowing where I am or what I am supposed to be doing, or just simply staring. I have no reason, no idea why, no idea I’m actually doing it until hubby says “ Gail you ok?”

As my cognitive abilities decline, so does my awareness and judgment. Forgetting to turn off appliances, burning food, burning myself, not being aware of danger all raises concerns. We are always having to find ways to adapt.

I have become much more clumsier, always have a bruise or a cut from something, I’m really good at forgetting I’m on the wall of the garden when watering plants or feeding the birds.

I do really silly things like stab my self with a screwdriver or trap my fingers, fall over because I am not concentrating where I am going…usually I have been distracted by something usually a bird!

My sleep pattern has changed yet again, not complaining as I am getting more sleep and me and hubby have noticed that my energy levels have dropped somewhat causing me to be really quite tired in an afternoon

My interests like art and crafts have diminished, I’m hoping it’s just a phase, but no signs of any thing inspiring me to carry on.

I’ve become quite a recluse, very rarely go out alone after 9am, just don’t like the hustle and bustle of people only leads to that other unwelcome visitor Anxiety!

Anxiety is definitely not a friend, anxiety causes me no end of problems and is not getting any better, in fact it has gone much worse. The other day I was traveling over to see family, hubby was driving me, still the bathroom becomes the favourite room for a couple of hours before we leave, very little food consumed and a stomach full of butterflies! Leaving me so anxious and agitated.

All of these challenges and many, many more contribute to an ever changing daily living experience with my sidekick.