Friday 13th February 2026

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As many of you know, I live with early‑onset Alzheimer’s, and sometimes it feels like I’m in two different worlds, the one I used to know so well, and this strange one that is so unpredictable.

Some people look at me and still see Me, They speak to me the same way, give me the same responsibilities, yet at the same time they expect the same results. Part of me loves that, as it does sort of makes me feel normal. But another part of me is struggling, and they don’t see my struggles! Or is it they don’t want to see or acknowledge what I’m struggling with…

The forgotten words, the constant loosing things, the confusion…The bloody awful fog!

I’m sure I have said many times…Pretending I’m fine is exhausting, yet I still do it!

Then there is the other side. The ones who see only the diagnosis. Those people would complete MY task before even asking. Finish MY sentence before letting me try, they are the ones steeling my independence.

Having said that…When does someone takes over?

I find myself constantly trying to reassure everyone, that I can still do things.

I now think I’m secretly trying to reassure myself, there are moments, when I feel my own memory slipping, and yes if I’m honest it scares me…I hate the fact that dementia sometimes has the upper hand.

When is it the rightime to step in…Somedays I am quite focused and others I feel the need for someone to take over…It’s a difficult one! I always say communication is key, but sometimes just sometimes it would be nice for people to recognise, pick up on the signs when I’m struggling. I don’t need to be wrapped in cotton wool, I just need someone to take over when dementia gets heavy.

When I say I’m exhausted…I am exhausted.

When I retreat…I need calm as it’s all getting too much

When I say my head is feeling funny, it’s a clue that I’m going to be confused and mixed up

It’s all about picking up, taking notice of the little clues of when to step in, and when to stand back.

Does it matter if i make a cup of tea and forget the sugar, (which can be rectified without me knowing) no need to bring it to my attention.

Does it matter if I tell the same story twice. ( just listen it’s the first time i think I’ve told it)

I’m sure there is enough space for me and my sidekick,

I know i didn’t ask for a sidekick but it is what it is and I certainly can’t change it…No one can!

Dementia changes how I experience the world, but it hasn’t taken away my longing to belong, and to contribute where I can.

I’m still here, still smiling, still laughing and definitely still learning how to live in these two worlds.

Monday February 9th 2026

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It was a Saturday morning when I decided to go out with my camera. There have not been many clear early morning skies for quite a few days, so when I saw a little colour appearing through the clouds, I decided to load the dogs and my camera into the car and take the short 10 minutes journey to Skippool.

Skippool is a fascinating place and is great for taking photos. It’s where small fishing boats old and new, moor on the mud flats and muddy banks of the River Wyre. There are quite an assortment of boats some are seaworthy others are now wrecks from years gone by. It just makes this place so interesting.

I arrive at the car park, there is a chill in the air from the cool breeze, in-fact it’s bitter! I pull my coat collar around my neck to try and stop the air biting at my bare skin, we proceed to walk down the lane which is empty and so peaceful the sky looks like it’s having an argument between sun and cloud. Only a pale pink hue lines the sky this morning.

The stubborn sun hides behind a curtain of grey, only the edges of the clouds manage to show the rich burning glow

The colours then change to gold and apricot but the sun never really quite break through. A slight glimpse, a nervous glints, the water mirrors whatever light the sun can free

Close by the boats rock with the breath of a cool morning breeze. Their masts lean and sway lines and stays ping and chime like distant bells, a metallic melody that keeps time with the sway.

The sun may be stalled, the clouds stubborn, but the world around carries until the light finally finds its way.

Friday 6th February 2026

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As most of you know I have 2 Scottish Terriers whom are my best pal’s, when I think about it, they are the ones I spend most of my time with.

Those whom own a dog, understand that these four legged furry friends become part of your family…they are family!

Dogs are special, they bring an unconditional companionship and most of all they are nonjudgmental, they don’t answer back!

I suppose my dogs give me a routine and also a purpose, they both create structure to my day …Feeding, walking, grooming, playing and most of all they bring connection and comfort.

They say dogs are very good at reading human cues, like body language, and especially the tone of your voice. Toby is very good in tuning in to how I’m feeling. If I’m having a bad day he will be there sat next to me. I suppose he is making sure I’m ok and trying to offer me some comfort.

Sooty on the other hand, is a live wire. We are still tuning into one another, and every now and again the reception drops!

My dogs are a source of joy and Toby is a great stress reliever, Sooty still brings a little stress, he is one hell of a stubborn Scotty! But my dogs are a part of me, they are a key part of my daily identity, they are my walking buddies!

So when Toby became poorly around the 19th January my routine and structure started to fall apart.

The worry of a poorly dog, cat or any pet brings fear and sadness. You feel so helplessness because you don’t really understand what they are going through, you might not even understand the cause.

In Toby’s case, he has had diarrhoea since the 19th of January, and getting to the bottom of why he has been so poorly has been a difficult process. From food, parasites, poisons and toxic substances, all of which have been discussed at length with Toby’s vet and all comes with a cost.

Two weeks on and Toby is still no better, Toby has had blood test, examinations, medication and we are still no nearer to recovery.

Toby sleeps most of the time now, he does have moments of alertness which we hope is promising sign.

It’s been a constant 24hrs cleanup operation and now I’m exhausted. Toby wakes me constantly throughout the night to go outside and relieve himself, he is so good. He even waits to be cleaned up before he goes back to his bed, bless him.

It’s been a game of elimination to get to the bottom of why Toby has had such a bad stomach. I even contacted Toby’s dog food manufacturer Royal Canin, whom was extremely helpful in getting answers and checking the batch of dog food for any possible causes.

So dog food rules out, parasites ruled out, infection ruled out, viruses ruled out, poisons and toxins?

It’s been a worrying time, but holding on to hope and not giving up on him has paid off.

Two weeks on, we can see slight changes and hopefully he is now on the way to recovery.

We know his recovery will take time for his stomach to get better, but on the positive side we have seen little improvements over the day last few days.

Now we are vigilant, checking our garden for foreign pieces of food.

I can’t wait to have Toby back to full health, back at my side where he belongs …Oh and also posing for a weather photo!

Monday 2nd February 2026

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it’s easy to forget that not everything is visible to the eye.

Some of the most powerful things in life like love, hope, courage, dreams are invisible.

People often say, “Seeing is believing.” But sometimes, the opposite is so true “believing is seeing.” Think about the air we breathe, we can’t see it, yet it’s there, the beating of your heart…All unseen, but very real.

When people think about illness, disabilities, diseases, they often imagine something they can see, a cast, a rash, a scar, a wheelchair. The truth is, not every illness is visible. Many people wake up each day coping with conditions that can’t be seen on the outside. Think about those living with chronic pain, mental health challenges, autoimmune diseases, neurological disorders, and more.

Living with an invisible illnesses is a balancing act between appearing “fine” and feeling far from it. I smile while struggling through waves of confusion and exhaustion. I carry on because that’s the way I am. Then I’m faced with misunderstanding and sometimes judgment because my invisible illness / disease isn’t obvious.

Just because i looks healthy doesn’t mean i feel healthy. Just because i seem strong doesn’t mean im not hurting. It takes courage to carry on, to keep going when fighting this invisible battle.

Dementia doesn’t always shout its presence. Sometimes it’s whispering quietly in the background.

When people hear the word dementia, they often picture forgetting names or getting lost in familiar places. What they don’t see is what isn’t visible, all those things happening inside. The confusion, the fear of slipping moments, the awareness that parts of my world is changing.

One of the hardest parts of living with a hidden disability is feeling invisible yourself, being told “you don’t look like you have dementia ”.

The unseen can be just as real, just as serious, and so deserving of understanding and care.

“The greatest battles are fought where no one can see”

“The greatest strength is living through them every day”

Yes I know on the outside, I might look perfectly fine. I can still laugh, tell stories, and enjoy life. But on the inside, I sometimes feel like I’m piecing together a puzzle that keeps shifting, that lost piece that I simply cannot find.

You may not see me struggle, but I can assure you, I feel it.

“When memories fade, love does not. And just because you can’t see what’s happening doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

Dementia is real and so am I”

Friday 30th January 2026

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If a child was acting out roll play you wouldn’t stop them you would join in making it fun

If a person with dementia tells you something that you think is utter rubbish… why would you stop them?

Imagine this…A child bursts in declaring themselves “Jake the Pirate” on a mission to find the evil Captain Hook. Do you roll your eyes and say, “That’s nonsense, go and do something useful”. Of course not! You go into the world of your child, you use your imagination and join in! You make that moment the highlight of their day…Because play is their language. It’s how children explore, connect, and feel seen.

Now, picture someone with dementia sharing a vivid tale… Perhaps the postman has just delivered a letter, the person living with dementia thinks it’s from the King, he is inviting everyone to tea at Buckingham Palace! It’s not real, but at that moment it’s their reality. Do you correct them with, “that’s not true”

Now I wouldn’t correct them because all that would do would shut down their communication, their spark.

Instead, why not lean in and say “How exciting! Perhaps we need to plan what we are going to wear

It’s the power of going with the flow

For people living with dementia, confusion isn’t rubbish it’s just how their brain works, so telling someone that their truth is wrong feels like a dismissal, it’s like being told off!

What we should be doing is to make the person feel listened too. Acknowledge, nod, smile, say something like…”Wow, that sounds amazing !”

It’s not lying; it’s just loving.

Monday 26th January 2026

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“I try my best to remain positive whilst living with Early onset Alzheimer’s…but sometimes…dementia really stinks!

I suppose the above sentence says a lot. It still contains hope but also honesty. And I suppose positivity is a powerful tool to have if you can keep hold of it, it can help you find a meaning and enjoy the moments that keep us going.

Sometimes my positivity does slip, I can’t remain positive all the time, and I do think it would be unhealthy to do so. If i was to say everything was ok all of the time, It would just feel like I was pretending everything was ok all the time…But it’s not!

There are days when dementia takes more than it gives, especially when the confusion and anger takes over.

I’m Acknowledging both sides of dementia…Only trying to be resilient I suppose.

Today Sunday 18th January DEMENTIA STINKS!

It’s not just loosing words, names or some of my memories today.

Dementia today is humiliating and terrifying!

Living with and also watching and listening to a loved one suddenly loose control of their world around them, is scary.

Today stirs up that unwelcome visitor…Dementia!

Tensions, confusion…

The Positivity I try to carry is slipping away, because positivity doesn’t erase feelings.

I know It’s okay to be angry, sad or frustrated but how can I balance watching a loved one deteriorate and keep myself sane when living with dementia.

How can I try to stay balanced when the disease stinks!

Trying to stay focused on what brings joy, is really difficult sometimes, when all you can see around you is the destruction of dementia. Everything becomes overwhelming, those feelings I have are now arguments in my head. I am fighting with positivity and dementia.

I’m struggling with processing.

Dementia is winning today!

The explosion of frustration, anger, and sadness erupts like a volcano, pouring out in a scalding, unstoppable flood.

This is where dementia feels lonely, this is where is hard to make people understand…to understand how it feels when your head is in bits when you have no control of what comes out of your mouth or your actions. It’s where dementia takes pleasure in hurting all those you dearly love and there is nothing that you can do.

Dementia Stinks today! Dementia really stinks!

Friday 23rd January 2026

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Please don’t describe me as a sufferer just because I live with dementia

Lots of people describe or say the words sufferer when talking about a person whom is living with dementia. But the word suffer doesn’t sit right with me.

A sufferer to me is someone who experiences pain, or distress…I’m definitely not in pain…Living with my sidekick is not painful in anyway, my sidekick is just a bloody nuisance!

I don’t suffer, I live with my sidekick Alzheimer’s thats a big difference.

Yes, I have my challenges. Some days are harder than others. I might lose track of my thoughts. Sometimes I need a little more time, or a gentle reminder, or a quiet moment to gather my thoughts. That’s all part of my life now.

But that it isn’t all of it.

I still laugh. I still love. I still play my favorite music…Loud sometimes! I even dance around like no one is watching!

I still find beauty in the world around me, enjoying walks with my dogs.

So when I hear people say I suffer from Alzheimer’s it grates, puts my teeth on edge… I want to shout “ I am not suffering “…Do I look like I’m suffering!…No!

Look at me do you see me writhing around in agony or pain?

I think I prefer the word struggle, because being realistic some days do feel uncertain, and I wish things were easier, I do feel like I struggle…I don’t suffer.

I adapt, I learn new ways to manage, and I keep going. I wouldn’t call that suffering…I’d call it living, living to the best of my ability.

Living with Alzheimer’s doesn’t take away everything that makes life meaningful, and I take so much joy from the smaller things in life now.

I still have hope, I still have dreams, I still have feelings and one of my feelings is not suffering

I don’t suffer from Alzheimer’s.
I live with it.

I adapt to it

I grow within it.

Alzheimer’s is part of this chapter…So is living!

Monday 19th January 2026

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When I heard those words in 2019 “You have dementia,” everything around me seemed to slow down, disconnect, my thoughts and dreams, everything scattered into a thousand directions.

So many words thrown at me…treatment, research, and care plans for the future, all of which is important. But for someone just receiving a new diagnosis, it was all so frightening. A few weeks later when the diagnosis was sinking in, I had so many questions I needed to ask, but who was going to answer them?

Receiving a dementia diagnosis can feel like losing your footing. Suddenly, simple moments which I once took for granted…remembering a date, finding the right words, all become reminders that something is changing.

There’s sadness and fear.

With time, I’ve realized that life doesn’t stop after a diagnosis of dementia. It just takes a different different direction a different rhythm.

Beneath the memory lapses and word hesitation, I’m still me.

I haven’t disappeared, I am the same person and I definitely don’t need fixing!

You can’t jump in and fix what can’t be mended, but you can make life easier by walking with me.

We have to guide each other through this dementia chapter

We will laugh

We will cry

There will be good days and not‑so‑good days.

We still have memories to share, we will still have a connection.

I know this chapter of my life will affect all those who are close.

It maybe scary to watch as I change.

You can’t fix me!

Just be with me, when I need you.

Friday 16th January 2026

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I apologise for the long blog and the croaky voice

Looking back on 2025 would never be short

All I can say is thank goodness for photos!

I have said many times photos are great for jogging the memory, well most of the time. I say most of the time as I do question some of my photos now…Where? When? Are you sure I did that.

So here I am looking back through photos 2025…Also gives me an excuse to share…

January brought fabulous sunrises and sunsets

I am also still seeing some of my photos on TV

The star has to be Toby whom always poses so well…Toby is definitely a natural when it comes to a weather photo shoot!

February 2025, I was busy with designing cards and bookmarks for DementiaUK

I was so excited when I opened the post one lunch time, only to find the card I had designed for DementiaUK

I couldn’t quite believe people would soon be receiving a card with my actual design on the front and a smaller version of the design on the envelope. I was so chuffed with my little self!

I was also lucky enough to meet up with Keith whom is a wonderful Ambassador for DementiaUK, we had messaged and emailed but never actually seen one another face to face, so this was a real treat

Keith holds lots of groups, raising awareness around sports and dementia. Such a wonderful caring man.

February brought Valentine’s Day, and my beautiful swan photo makes the ITV weather

Talking of weather, we had some very high tides bringing the waves crashing in!

Me and hubby was very luck to receive a holiday that was gifted to us at Centre Parks near Penrith. What a wonderful time we had, I was in my element surrounded by nature.

Red squirrels and Birds of prey had to be the highlight of those 5 days

From holidays to appearing on TV

March 2025 I appeared on BBC Morning Live programme, funny I can’t really remember much of that interview, in fact I had forgotten I had done that, until I came across the photos!

March I was invited to give a talk, I was only expecting around 15- 20 people. Turned out to be a 3 course meal where 80+ ladies would be in attendance…Wow! That was a little bit of a surprise! Anyway my talk was received positively and the response is still talked about.

More work achieved working with DementiaUK

After a busy few months April was time to spend time with family

May 2025, Toby still top of the shop on the ITV weather

I’m getting involved with Trinity Hospice as a volunteer with Maxine and Julie from the Admiral Nurse Team, even met up with Anne Nolan from the Nolan Sisters, whom was so lovely.

Me and Hubby managed some time together and took a day trip to York, it was such a beautiful day, it was sweltering!

I entered an art competition and to my surprise won! I received vouchers for art supplies which was very great fully received

The end of May 2025 and the beginning of June 2025 we managed a few days away in The Lake District…Bassenthwaite was our destination and it was so beautiful, we loved it so much we are visiting again very soon

June I was also interviewed by Radio Lancashire and the recording went live 4th June, can I remember what it was about! Can I heck!

June 2025, me and Hubby had a short break to do a bit of bird spotting on the Yorkshire coast…Bempton Cliffs is a favourite of ours for spotting seabirds

July 2025 was the LEAP face to face meeting in Birmingham. This year I was joined by my Admiral Nurse Maxine, hoping that having someone with me would calm my anxiety. Unfortunately it was not meant to be …Anxiety and Dementia took over!

August 2025 brought the Airshow to Blackpool, always a good excuse to get my camera out, and this year one of my photo made it onto the ITV…I was ecstatic!

September 2025 was another short break for me and hubby in quite a spectacular lodge in

Another radio interview which I did from the lodge

October 2025 a weekend away to Wyresdale Park and it was the wettest weekend away ever. That didn’t stop me and hubby, we drove through floods, torrential rain to reach our destination. The morning after we arrived the rain had thankfully stopped. This is also the weekend that we walked around Stocks reservoir!! I can still remember how exhausted I was, don’t think I will ever forget that day…Hubby says I won’t let him!!

November 2025 and Thanet Well Lodge retreat near Penrith, it was a beautiful tranquil place with interesting places to visit nearby and we would definitely visit again!

December 2025, I sold a few crafts and my daughter helped by doing a tombola to raise funds for DementiaUK. We managed to raise £370 in total.

Christmas arrived and before i knew it another year was over…Wow we packed so much into the last 12 months and that’s only what I can remember from looking through my photos.

If you have a camera or a phone, do take lots of photos they can be valuable for many reasons. I use photos to help me capture moments i might otherwise forget. My photos are a visual record, a record of the passage of time, people, places, and even myself.

Photos are memories never to be forgotten and can be viewed at anytime, always bringing so much pleasure.

So now is the time to start snapping making your own visual records of 2026

Monday 12th January 2026

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I can vaguely remember a medical professional commenting on someone’s post “ you can’t have dementia if you can describe what dementia feels like”

I quietly mulled over this statement, then it was forgotten about until today. For some reason I started wondering “could this statement actually be true”

When I describe how dementia feels to me, it could be because I’m still aware of what is happening at that specific moment. Then again there are times when dementia affects not only my memory, speech, and word finding, also my self-awareness.

So when I describe how dementia feels for me, perhaps its when I have more clarity, when I feel almost normal, or is it the feeling that I remember at that specific moment that brings back the memory?

I can remember sometime ago being in a meeting. I was asked a question, I went completely blank! I can remember opening my mouth to speak but no words would come out of my mouth. I have no idea what happened that day, all I can tell you it was a strange feeling, but i cannot tell you why I was unable to speak.

It was one of those moments I was truly out of control…What ever happened did not feel normal. I felt embarrassed and stupid and even though I was with people who knew I was living with dementia, it knocked my confidence for a while.

I suppose I do have moments of clarity and confusion and there will be times I have no idea why I act, say or do the things I do.

Dementia is a strange one…I can still remember loosing that pair of scissors that took days to track down, eventually being found in an obscure place. So why could I not I remember where I put the scissors in the first place!

I can remember sitting on my glasses and breaking them. So why could i not remember I had left my glasses on the chair before I sat on them!

Only last night my word finding was problematic, I was talking about a photo i had seen on Facebook, it was a familiar place local to where we live…I know this particular place very well…The pleasure Beach

I just couldn’t remember the name of the place in the photograph, the more I looked, the more I panicked “what’s the place”

I was secretly panicking inside, a place so familiar, yet i couldn’t remember what it was called.

Staring at the photo intensely did not bring any words…In the end I had to show hubby the photo and ask what it was called.

I can remember how in that moment i was aware I was struggling to find the right words but i couldn’t remember the name of the place.

These sorts of things are happening more now, names of people and places have now become

“you know him, him with the hair” as I proceed to wave my hands around

“Whatchamacallit”

“ That thingamajig”

I think what I’m trying to say is…Yes I do have moments of clarity and also confusion, where I know something is a miss.

Remembering also comes with feelings.

How that moment made me feel…Was I angry, happy, anxious and for some reason the negative feelings always outweighs the positives.

I have noticed over the past few months little things are now becoming more challenge.

Tasks that were automatic are now causing anger and irritation. navigating access into meetings for instance, somedays it’s automatic, other days it can be an absolute nightmare where I just can’t seem to navigate the process.

There are changes occurring that I may not be aware of until someone points them out.

I do stay at home more now, apart from my very early morning walks with my dog, which are taken when there is no one else around.

I feel calmer and much more comfortable in my own home, it’s my safe haven, and if I’m really struggling, I will take myself off to my bedroom or my craft room…This is my space where I can be alone.

I sit here writing this blog trying to think of how I had navigated this particular morning, all I could come up with…I got angry at the Christmas musical toy that I couldn’t get to work, oh and hubby made a full cooked breakfast.

I suppose there will have been lots of other things done that day, but those two things are the ones that stuck in my head.

Even when my words and my recall memory starts to fade, I am still able to hold on to certain memories.