Tuesday 10th November 2020

I wake after a decent’ish nights sleep, I only woke a couple of times during the night which is good for me. I got out of bed just after 6am, My head still feels a little cotton woolly and as I pick up my iPad to check emails, then social media. My eyes are affected by the screen brightness, which I keep turning down…if I turn the brightness down anymore it will be difficult to see the text! I am now feeling nauseous from the screen brightness and the movement of text as I scroll (I have only been on 10 minutes)

Time to put the iPad down before it makes me feel any worse!

This morning I realised something

Over the past 21 months my dementia journey as been full of ups and downs

People have given me such wonderful comments on my crafts that I produce, which is so wonderful and a great big boost for my wellbeing

People also ask how I make all my crafty things, sometimes with a look of disbelief as I think some people expect because I have dementia, I can’t or shouldn’t be able to do what I do.

I have always been a crafty person, so I have had to adapted…find different ways to do things, make lots of notes and videos to assist when my sidekick alzheimers makes it a little tricky.

It is Not giving up! It’s about Trying and finding different ways!

I have amazed myself just recently. I signed up for a painting course with the lovely tutor Frances Isaacs, whom is very very good, and is so encouraging and supportive.

I began thinking about all the things I was actually doing now, especially the watercolours I have been producing

When you get a diagnosis, obviously takes time to sink in and you need time to process. You begin to think how important life is …the things we own…the people that truly care …the ones whom stick by your side through good times and bad …the ones who just support and encourage along the dementia journey. I began to be more positive about life. No one can tell you how long you have when you receive a terminal diagnosis. So it was time to make the most of what time I do have left.

One thing I have noticed is I take time to look at things…I mean really look at things, I love to sit and watch the sea, I mean really watch and listen to the sea…I look at the different colours, the shapes of the pebbles, different patterns, they even feel different.

I picked a twig up off some grass the other day and sat looking at this twig for ages, it inspired me to paint, so when I got home that is what I did. I painted exactly what I could see. All the different textures…colours…things like moss growing along the twig…just so much detail.

It is amazing what we can see if we just take the time to actually look.

When you look at a flower or a leaf, just look at the detail in that particular leaf or flower, you will be amazed.

So is this the reason I can now paint, take photos and create. Is it because I actually take time to look…actually look!

One thing is for sure dementia has made me stop…look and see things…wonderful things!

Appreciate everything!

Then this morning I was notified I had won a photography competition.

Wow! Just Wow!

https://theboldage.com/the-bold-age-photo-competition-winner-s

This was my winning photo

I also entered my Fly

Also my Bee

https://www.theboldage.com/bold-photography

It was just so wonderful to be invited by the Women’s Institute today, to show off some of my card making skills to the on zoom.

The feedback I received was wonderful and I really enjoyed sharing my card making skills…I just love to share 😊

It was a lovely morning, doing something I love… crafting and sharing with others

By the afternoon I am shattered..

One thing is for sure, even though I’m tired now, I’ve had a really good day.

Monday 9th November 2020

I wake this morning with a heavy head, like someone has filled it with cotton wool. I got myself all muddled and confused just after we had eaten last night which put my routine out of sync, which made me quite agitated…hence I think my cotton wool head this morning.

I don’t like things being dropped on me at the last minute, it makes me panic because my head can’t deal with it…I have to have clear instructions as to when, where, times etc.

Wow! Wow the response to pebble painting still goes on…1,366 I am truly amazed at the amount of people that have commented and liked my post on a local social media group…the comments and likes are still coming in. People are also still watching my YouTube video on how to paint pebbles, which has resulted in people painting pebbles.

Such a wonderful thing is sharing…it gives others inspiration to try something…it is also a feel good factor for the sharer…so good feelings all around.

There can be a downside…that’s life! But not on this occasion.

I share because I can…because other might try…then they will feel good too 😊 #caringandsharing

We all need something to feel good about especially in these strange times!

I’m out on my walk and walk past my Poppy Pebbles with a smile on my face and place my last Poppy pebble, this time a purple one as Dreane one of the lovely Zoomettes had requested one.

I stand and look out to sea and then at the pebbles… just reflecting on life.

It’s a dull grey morning, at least it’s fine for our walk as we head off for home through the park, everywhere is so quiet this morning.

I spend the rest of my morning planning and getting everything ready for my card making session with the Women’s Institute Tuesday Morning.

Before I know it it’s lunchtime.

At 2pm I have a short zoom meeting and when that is finished I’m exhausted.

Time to make sure tea is sorted… time to finish my blog…Then chill.

Friday 6th November 2020

Don’t think I really ever went to sleep tonight, I went to bed just after 10pm I thought I had gone to sleep…maybe I hadn’t who knows. At 11.40pm I’m in my craft room finishing off paintings, pebble painting, ironing and other bits of things. I did try and go back to bed around 3.20pm but no such luck…at 4.55am still wide awake I give in and get up. So much for having a great night’s sleep the previous night.

I am beginning to wonder if too much Zooming disrupts my head as I had a few zoom meetings yesterday and none the previous day.

I look out the window…very Misty it has an eerie feel as I can see the mist floating around…would be a great scene for a horror movie!

Not a sound, only the clock ticking in the background and the odd snore from Charlie dog.

Super organised this morning with not having been to sleep, so I was out with Toby early, I see a fellow dog walker this morning on my travels so had a little company for some of my walk which was nice.

Home I finish off some cleaning and then bake some cherry buns and chocolate chip ones too…better get a wriggle on as I have a zoom meeting with Philly and Frannie at 9am this morning and it is 8.50am, I check the buns just as my timer goes off…makes me jump every time!

Buns ready, cup of tea in hand time for the Zoom meeting…to be honest I’m not really in the mood, but after 10 minutes with them both I’m laughing and having a really good time. Project sorted, me and Frannie know what we have to do…but on the day anything can happen 🤣

Face time with my daughter and Adam…only a short one before I finish the rest of my jobs have an early lunch and collapse in my comfy chair

I think I manage about 50 minutes sleep …better than nothing!

So it’s been a lazy afternoon which is not normally me…I just have no energy due to lack of sleep.

Saturday 7th November 2020

A funny sort of nights sleep, where I find myself struggling to find my way around the bedroom…this has happened before! I have No visibility, everything is black, there is no outline of furniture, no light from the part opened curtains and no light from my nightlight!

It is so weirded…it’s just a room of nothingness as I bump and bang into furniture, this time hubby wakes as I walk into the bed loosing my balance.

Morning 6.15am start and on the beach around 7am.

It is a cold crisp morning and the sky is a lovely pink colour

Down the beach we walk, we get off where Mary’s Shell is situated and walk through the park

The sun rising in the distance…beautiful

Once I have sorted the dogs out after our walk, a quick tidy round and time to make sure I have all my Poppy Pebbles together for delivery to the beach/prom on Remembrance Sunday

I received some photos of my grandson Henry, which was nice and unexpected 😊 Growing up fast!

Then I set too on another watercolour project, a Pansy flower.

It’s been a painting kinda day, very relaxing with little screen time.

Remembrance Sunday 8th November 2020

Up bright and early this morning as me and hubby are placing the 45 painted Poppy Pebbles on to the beach. Our bags are so heavy from the weight of the pebbles…nothing in comparison to what the troops carried during the war.

We sing on our way “It’s a long way to Tipperary”

When we reach the prom, I begin to place my Poppy pebbles along the prom…down steps on benches until we have no pebbles left.

The line of stones starts at Rossall beach car parking area and stretches down towards Mary’s Shell where the last pebble is placed.

Placing that last pebble and looking out towards the sea was emotional, just thinking about the courageous people and the sacrifices that was made during the war.

I thought of the idea of the painted Poppy Pebbles some weeks ago giving me plenty of time to prepare. I shared my idea on Twitter and also made a video on YouTube, hoping that people would try and paint their own pebbles and they did.

I am so glad that I shared my Poppy Pebbles as it has inspired others ❤️

Back home having trouble with posting my photos on social media… I keep going wrong somewhere and the confusion of posting, then realising I have missed lots of things, the # …I have not added people, and now i am beginning to stressed out! My head is having trouble working things out…things I do daily on a daily basis! This is so annoying!

“It is All about Sharing and Caring”

A couple of wonderful inspirational ladies I have met through zoom and the wonderful Zoomettes group watched my YouTube video on how to paint pebbles…which inspired them to have a go and paint pebbles.

We have all done a fantastic job of bringing a few smiles to people this weekend 😊 The 3 musketeers or The 3 Amigos of Pebble Painting!

It has been a pleasure to share and has brought joy to many.

Wendy Mitchell painted her pebbles and hid them in her local village.

“I hid the poppy pebbles I made this morning around the village for people to find, the young, the old & everyone in between. I was staggered by the interest shown & my village community has embraced the challenge….we all need a reason 2 trundle at the mo”

Chris Maddocks also painted Poppy Pebbles and placed them on her local beach

“Painted Poppy pebbles which I put back on the beach for others to take or enjoy. Remembrance Sunday” Lest We Forget

What a fantastic achievement! #Dementiacraftivists

My head is a little mixed up today so a few things have been difficult, so I take myself off to my craft room to relax, a couple of hours.

I have completed another painting

That is it for me today, blog finished and ready to publish later.

I have achieved quite a lot today…feeling pleased with myself

#sharingandcaring

Thursday 5th November 2020

Lockdown Number 2 Begins – Day 1

Last night after tea we had visitors, which was a little boost to my emotional well-being. So lovely to see 2 of my grandsons, daughter and her friend whom had stopped by just to say hello before resuming their journey through the Blackpool Illuminations.

More flowers! Wow I am being truly spoilt this week!

I have forgotten what i was talking about with my grandsons but I made a joke about me forgetting ” I asked them if they had seen my brain anywhere?” The youngest replied ” grandma it’s in your head ” my reply was ” I think it’s in my big toe now!” They both chuckled away with me.

I really wish they could have come inside, it seems so alien to stand on the driveway talking to close family and not being able to have them inside the house…it’s not natural! I know it has to be done to keep safe from the virus, but still doesn’t feel right, especially when they have traveled around 50 miles.

It was lovely to see them…we say our goodbyes…but only with a wave! No hugs or kisses this time.

I assured the boys that if we could not visit at Christmas, we would definitely be making sure Father Christmas had their presents…That brought big smiles 😀

So difficult not to hug…when you really really need one! 😢

Lockdown Number 2 Begins Today as I wake at 6.15am after a full nights sleep…Yes! A full nights sleep! Do I feel any different? No!

I’m thinking about our visitors and holding on to the positive…that we will get together soon!

7.15am and I’m off for my morning walk when I see the reflection of flashing blue lights but I can’t work out where they are, which is confusing me a little. As I turn the corner there is the ambulance just shutting the doors. A lady stands on her pathway talking to a neighbour. I always wave and say “good morning ” with a smile on my face and this morning is no different, I smile and wave, the lady waves back. She is always very smiley and is normally about in her garden when I am walking past taking the dogs to the beach, she always feeds the seagulls in her garden …to some people’s annoyance.

Always feel better when I have seen someone in a morning…just for that acknowledgment…the wave…the smile…a nod.

Just brightens your day and sets you are off to a good start.

8.30am shopping slot booked at my local M&S so off I go for my weekly shop. You can now book your slot with M&S Sparks book and shop, so you don’t have to cue…brilliant idea as I get so agitated when I have to cue for long lengths of time. So no cueing for me this morning! Brilliant system!

Home and with the shopping away, I sit with a brew chilling before the watercolour painting session with Frannie.

Don’t know what happened but i seem to press something on my iPad to unmute to say something about the painting I was showing, pressed something inadvertently. I then could only hear voices…no faces… no zoom. I’m panicking trying to get back when I loose everything, then realise the internet has gone.

My painting from today’s Painting with Frannie session. I still need to add more detailing on this painting as I didn’t have time to finish.

I return to the house where the hub is flashing, after 5 / 10 minutes back up and running but too late now to try and rejoin.

I have a face time with my daughter and grandsons for around 20 minutes, Adam is not for talking today…he does show me his pad with the science game and he also blows plenty kisses when we say good bye ❤️

I have time for a bit of a rest before another zoom with a very interesting topic on unconscious bias…met some more lovely people, unfortunately I have to leave early as I am fully Zoomed out for today.

Well that was a busy day! So feet up and time to chill

Fireworks going off everywhere lighting the sky with beautiful multi colours, just wish they was a little quieter, as it does make me jump and also the dogs are a little disturbed by the loud bags.

Wednesday 4th November 2020

So after we had eaten last night, hubby suggested having a drive through some of the Blackpool illuminations as they are being switched off on Wednesday evening due to the lockdown coming in to force.

The traffic was really busy so we only did half of the lights.

It is normally really busy with visitors walking through the lights, but tonight it was mainly cars, very few walking through.

I can remember as a child my parent’s taking me to the illuminations every year. Dad would park the car up around the centre of Blackpool and we would walk to Bispham (the end of the illuminations or the start depending which way you approach them) Where we would call at the chippy for a bag of chips smothered in salt and vinegar…wow they tasted so good!

What a night, ended up in the spare room…think I managed about 3 hours sleep. Still out to take Toby for a walk around 7.30 ish and it’s a dry day with blue sky, which is a welcome change.

Later in the morning when I have tidied around and put the washer on, I disappear into my craft room to do some painting. I finish off a leaf I started over the weekend and started on a new painting

Needs quite a bit of work on the one I have just started, but I am certain enjoying getting consumed in painting, that’s for sure!

3pm and I’m tired, it seems to be around the same time every day, concentration goes and I just feel exhausted. Gone are the days of up at 6am and work till 10pm sometimes later when Bears4u was really busy, like Christmas and Valentine’s Day….No weekends off either!

So now I’m sat just answering emails and typing up my blog, waiting for a phone call from the garage as the Mini has gone for a service…it’s now 4.30pm and still not heard anything…oh how I hate waiting! 5pm when they call …what a time to call! Tea in the oven…busiest time of the day. Grrrr!

The count down to another Lockdown is upon us…12.01am and Lockdown restrictions will be in place… only this time it is agitating me, the first lockdown I was absolutely fine with…this one I am not looking forwards too at all. I don’t know why…I’m just not, maybe it’s the dark nights and the colder days…could be I am just missing family now! What ever it is…we all have to find positive thoughts 😊

Today it has been sunny

Today I did some relaxing watercolours, thoroughly enjoyed myself

Today I saw my daughter and two grandsons whom I haven’t seen for a while.

They was driving through to go through the illuminations, so we had a quick catch up outside our house before they set off for the colourful Blackpool Illuminations …a little bit of sparkle before the lockdown commences

Stay positive everyone!

Tuesday 3rd November 2020

So just after 4.30pm yesterday afternoon hubby drives me to the hospital for an MRI scan arranged by my neurologist as I have been getting terrible headaches and a few other changes along my dementia journey.

Hospitals and people with dementia I don’t think really mix, it all started with the letter typed on on the yellow paper…information regarding my appointment…date…time…also which hospital I had to attend. Further down the letter it explained I would receive a text message to confirm my appointment nearer the time. At the weekend with no text message I decided to double check the letter again, there in bold writing text message jumped out at me! It also said if there was no confirmation of the appointment it may be reallocated to another patient. This brought me great worry and anxiety. Monday morning first thing I decided to call the hospital, I explained that I hadn’t received the text message as instructed on my letter, the lady on the phone said that it had been confirmed which I was taken aback. Oh well the appointment Is still going ahead at 5:30 pm today which was good.

Me and hubby arrive at the hospital with about 15 minutes to spare the receptionist was very welcoming and pointed out in which direction we should go to find the x-ray department.

We check-in with the receptionist in the x-ray department and I asked if hubby can stay with me until I go for my x-ray she agreed this as he is my main carer, not that we like my husband to be called my carer as I don’t need caring for at the moment, I am quite able to care for myself well sometimes! I just need him for support and guidance.

I’m called through to the MRI scan waiting room where I have to answer some questions, wow the nurse is speaking so fast that I am finding it hard to actually take in what she’s saying to me, my brain is not working well today and I am struggling to keep up…the words are getting very jumbled and so is my head. I then have to sign a piece of paper which I assume is for the scan, but I am not sure really. I think hubby should have helped while all these questions where being asked or she should have spoken slowly to give me time.

I was then lead down a corridor where there is a stack of plastic shopping baskets and changing rooms, again the nurse begins to speaking very quickly, ” please remove any clothing with metal in” then began to list things like pants, bra, bla, bla, bla, “when you are undressed put your clothes in the basket and take a seat” I was unsure on what I had to take off, so when she had finished I just said “sorry” I was about to say something else when she said ” just leave socks and knickers on…and put the blue gown on then put your own clothes in the basket. I repeated “leaving my knickers and socks on” she looked and I nodded.

I got changed and I sit in the waiting area feeling very uncomfortable and quite cold as I only had a very thin blue gown on.

I waited for about 10 minutes people came in and people disappeared off into x-ray rooms, I was still sat in the same place, no one had called my name so I was starting to worry that they had forgotten about me, but there was nobody around to ask, so I sat rather nervously waiting for instructions. Eventually my name was called out and I stood up with my basket of clothes. We walked down a corridor where there was like a hole in the wall, a type of cupboard with no doors on. I had to leave my clothes there, then they led me into the room where I could remove my face-mask. Everything was really rushed far far too fast for me, I was getting a little confuse, quite agitated and I said to the nurse “I don’t really like these MRI scans, but I know I have to do it” she just laughed, then had me up on to the bed… before I knew what was going on…my head was in a clamp type of frame…padding pushed down the sides, which I presume was for a little comfort…ear plugs put in my ears…cushion under the back of my knees. I’m now sliding into the machine. Oh here goes!!

It begins, the noises…the clanging…banging…juddering…shaking…buzzing…it’s not the best experience I can tell you! It doesn’t hurt but I am quite claustrophobic so I keep my eyes closed throughout the whole process. I sing songs in my head and try to imagine the sea as the waves come in and go out.

About 30 minutes later silence as the bed slides out of the machine in to the brightly lit room. I’m trying to get my baring as I’m ushered out of the room, my basket of clothes waiting. The nurse says ” just over there you can go and get dressed, all done. Your results will go to your consultant…good luck my dear, bye” and she left me and disappeared back through the doors leaving me in the corridor all alone. Well I take myself off and get dressed, then have to workout which corridor I came down…success I eventually see a sign on the wall, I’m now walking tentatively, peering around corners and doorways until I find the main reception where hubby is waiting patiently for me. Relief it’s all over!

Home with a banging headache I sit in my comfy chair with my feet up, hubby brings me a nice hot cup of sweet tea and an after eight mint…😋

I slept really well last night and didn’t wake until 7.40am, so me and Toby out so much later for our walk. Another wet and blustery walk, I would really like to see some sunshine.

We walk to Mary’s shell, there is debris, large tree stumps, wheelie bins and all sorts of things washed up on the beach, including a dead half eaten porpoise. I hate seeing dead wildlife.

We walk through a very water logged park with the rays of the sun shining through the clouds, but the clouds soon cover up the sun only to reveal more rain.

Home and time to see what I have to do today, mainly make sure we have everything we need for crafting and things classed as non essentials, as it will be more difficult to access some shops when lockdown comes into effect on Thursday.

I am feeling really uneasy about this lockdown, I don’t know why… it just doesn’t feel right. Maybe it’s the weather the fact the clocks have changed, oh and my routine is still all over the place, nothing I can do about it…I will just have to find things to do. I know one job I have to do is to wrap all our grandchildren’s Christmas presents…we have seven so that’s lots of wrapping!

Monday 2nd November 2020

I’m surprised we haven’t been washed away with the amount of rain that came down yesterday and throughout the night.

Me Toby and Charlie are out for a morning walk it’s a little rainy and a little windy but we walk up to the prom so we’ve had our fresh air for today

Rubbish and debris have spewed over the sea wall from the beach and now sits on the pathways and road

Back home in the warmth where I make a cup of tea and write my shopping list.

I have decided that I need to go and get some shopping before we go into lockdown less time spent outside shopping means less Chance that I might pick up the virus so at around 7:30 am I decide to go to the supermarket and pick up my essential items.

Back home it’s time to sort out my weekly podcast so I set my my stall up so that I can sit and record my last weeks diary, it takes a couple of attempts as some are absolute rubbish and then on the third attempt I had a delivery…so I had to start all over again, never mind it’s all good practice. After about an hour I have successfully recorded my diary, now just need to look for some tracks to go with it so once I have picked my two tracks I can email it to Ron and job done!

Wow when I open the delivery…such lovely flowers delivered with a great big DEEP Hug…what a surprise almost felt the hug which I needed on my headache day, I’m doing lots of thinking and planning before we go into lockdown for a 2nd time…I’m a little panicy to be honest and don’t know why….my head is going worse from all the panicking I am successfully achieving today. My head feels like it is going to burst!

I’m not normally this bad, why today?…most probably an acumilation of things…lockdown…MRI Scan today (late afternoon) the conference on Wednesday and being able to access and just remembering everything I have to remember!

My head feels confused too much going on and I’m getting no where fast! Only more confusion and a cracking headache!

Time to take time out to breath and relax!

I sit listening to some old video clips of the calm sea…thought I would share one of my clips with you all as it’s so relaxing

Only a short blog today as I am off soon for a late afternoon hospital visit for an MRI scan…don’t particularly like these MRI scans in the noisy, claustrophobic machine and not been to a hospital while Covid has been around so double anxious.

Didn’t get home until after 6.30pm been a long day…so will let you know how I got on in my blog tomorrow.

Friday 30th October

I wake earlier this morning around 5.30am it is still very dark but no rain, at last I can get out for a dry walk this morning.

I make myself a cup of tea…our cups already prepared last night so all I have to do is add the hot water and a tiny drop of milk (I’m not a lover of milk or cream) Dogs happily having their breakfast crunching away on their biscuits, all is good.

I take to my comfy chair with lights dimly lit…feels cozy that way. I do long for the sun though and a bright day! I sip my tea, just chilling, relaxing, getting my thoughts together and generally waking up from my nights sleep. A quick 10 minute check on social media, then iPad down as I go and make the bed and sort myself out for my morning walk.

2pm. I have just picked up my iPad to write some more of my blog…how annoying I forgot to save this mornings beach walk, so now I have got to try and remember….so angry with myself!!

I was on my way to the beach this morning where two police vans pass me on the road up to the beach, I turn to see if I can see where they are going, as we don’t often see the police especially this time in the morning.

It’s that awful wetting fine drizzle as we walk, the stuff that soaked you through. We reach the beach sea mist covers the sea, so vision is low.

I record a diary as we walk along the waters edge and roll pebbles for Toby as I have forgotten his ball, Toby doesn’t seem phase, he is still enjoying his play time.

As we turn to walk down the beach I notice a man on his own heading in our direction, there was something about the man I didn’t like, the way he was walking…his whole demeanour. I call Toby and put him back on his lead and walk towards the exit of the beach hoping I can reach the exit before the strange man is near. The man then dives on to the pebbled part of beach, then gets up, then walks stooped almost squatting. What the hell is going on! My pace quickens, I reach the exit. As I do a police van goes past a put my hand in the air to flag him down but they don’t see. I was a little concerned that the man would follow me, so I walked in the same direction of the police van.

I walk on the main coastal road for a short while, looked back to make sure no man is following before turning off in the direction of home, there is another police van, this time approaching me, I flag the van down and a police officer leans out of his window.

Me – “Excuse me are you looking for a strange man, well a man acting strangely?”

Police – ” Have you seen anyone around love? ”

Me – “yes, I have just come off the beach as there was a man acting very strange, very suspicious ”

Police – ” can you tell me what he is wearing”

Me – “Sports wear, stripes down the side”

Police – ” Thank you love”

The police sped off to the beach and I continue my walk home feeling at ease knowing the police are on his case.

Home I made a hot cup of tea, write up some of my blog, then IPad down as I decided to get changed and go for a little retail therapy at our local shopping outlet early before the crowds arrive.

I’m only at the shopping outlet a short while, 2 shops and home as I really couldn’t be bothered going in and out of all of the shops, this mask wearing, Covid restrictions has really taken the joy out of shopping or is it just the fact I’m not used to shopping anymore.

Home and I bake some buns and then Chris FaceTimes me, we have a good natter but I’m so tired after the face time.

My afternoon consists of watching TV…that’s something I don’t do a lot of, I don’t think I was actually watching it, it was more like it was on but not registering with me.

Saturday 31st October 2020

I’m up and about around 6.20am and as soon as it is light I’m off for our beach walk. We are to be expecting rather bad weather and the sky is not a good colour, so the sooner I get out the sooner I can get home hopefully before the rain starts.

Very strange sky colours today, definitely stormy seas and weather on the way.

We manage our walk and a quick trip to the local Aldi or was it Lidl? I always get mixed up, well all my outside jobs done before 9am and before the rain!

The wind gets stronger and the rain comes down in heavy bursts, I take myself off to my craft room to practice water colour painting. A few hours later I have my art work which I have created

I really like my leaf…pleased with that

Flowers Mmm not too sure about, they are ok

I have named this one “All Alone”

A very relaxing day, checked my screen time and down 25% from last week, so I am going in the right direction and no headaches today!

Sunday 1st of November 2020

A very windy 1st day of November…5.40am early too.

Where has this year gone! Swallowed by Covid restrictions…That’s for definite.

What a strange year it has been and I don’t think we will be getting a grip on this virus anytime soon, as we are about to enter another full lockdown. Why the government didn’t make that decision a couple of weeks ago when the schools where off for October break I will never know…but who am I to say!

I am getting distracted by the wind now, as it is really howling and whipping around our house. There are quite a few neighbours with there lights on, which is unusual for this time in a morning, perhaps the noise of the wind is disturbing them.

Only me and Toby walk today, and it’s wild!

I forgot to put Toby’s rain coat on so he was wet through on our return…well we both was and I had a coat on!

Today I take lots of cuttings from my house plants as some are getting a little out of control. Nice easy relaxing morning job.

After lunch I go into my craft room.

I embroider a couple of towels I have put to one side waiting to be done…that’s one job out of the way. I then make a card money wallet, then out comes the paints, oh but before I started the watercolour painting I paint a few more pebbles…don’t know how many I have completed now, but there will be a decent amount for Remembrance Sunday to distribute along the beach. I have also done 2 dementia craftivist pebbles as well

I then start another leaf painting, I have lots to do on the painting yet, as I need to add more colour and detailing but the paint was too wet. I am becoming tired anyway so time to call it a day

I leave my craft room around 3pm for my comfy chair, energy level low! Had a good time in my craft room today!

I finish of typing up my blog, as the tiredness really kicks in.

Tiredness always takes over in the afternoon making it harder to function!

Thursday 29th October 2020

I wake after a disturbed nights sleep still feeling tired, I don’t pick my iPad up or my phone, I make a cup of tea listening to the morning news in the background as I make the bed. I then sort myself out for our morning walk…today is going to be a wet one as the rain is pouring and the wind is blowing. Again I am not phased by the dismal weather as I am just glad to be outside in the fresh air.

Me, Toby and Charlie have our rain attire on as we walk up towards the beach. The rain is blowing in our faces…Toby and Charlie are fine they have a fur coat covering their face…mine is bare, well it was the last time I looked!

The combination of the wind and rain against my face is icy cold. The rain is hitting us with some force now and I can hear the rain drops battering against me as they hit my coat and smother my face in the icy cold rain. I’m outside in the fresh air and I really don’t care!

Back home to the warmth. We all dry off and I make a hot drink which I sit sipping and thinking about how I feel. I am so tired of feeling rubbish, I have been like this on and off for weeks now…bloody headaches! Feeling Nauseous ! Fatigue!

I get changed out of my dog walking attire with the thoughts going around in my head what to do for the best, I’m not one to saying No! I always try my best to accommodate…but I am just to weary at the moment.

I have a zoom meeting at 11am Watercolour painting with Frannie and I really really enjoy doing the painting, it’s something new and it’s relaxing. The fatigue, nausea and headaches are taking all the enjoyment away at the moment as I am finding concentration hard.

I put my smile on join the meeting telling people that I am ok when I’m not…I think most of us do that! The false smile! I sit making notes, as what is being said won’t stay in my head, it will just disappear. I am joining in the painting but after 30 minutes my head is starting to ache from the concentration and by the end I am feeling rubbish.

I make myself a cup of sweet tea and something to eat and that’s when I realise…I simply can not carry on with all these zooms, I begin by email 3 of the groups that I won’t be joining for a while. This was not an easy decision and I am so sad, but I simply have to take time for myself …sometimes I / we all forget I do have dementia.

I will do the meetings and the crafting session that have been already booked in as I never let people down, but I will not be taking on anything else until I have had a good break and some me time.

So it’s less screen time!

More Me Time!

After lunch I finish of sending my emails, turn the TV off, put my phone and iPad to one side and sit in my comfy chair….no background noise from the TV or radio, just the rain on the windows and the wind whistling down the chimney. I sit take a deep breath and just close my eyes, taking in the calmness, just to actually sit…just sit and do nothing until hubby walks through the door absolutely wet through…soaked to the skin. A posties job is not a good one when it been a day like today with relentless rain.

So it’s been a relaxing afternoon of nothingness.

Wednesday 28th October 2020

I don’t know about you, but social media is very addictive and in these strange times of lockdown and tiers, dark nights and wet dismal days I am finding myself entering the world of social media more…Which only means more screen time…which leads to the headaches…fatigue and feeling nauseous.

We all need to feel connected to people and more of us are finding that out iPads and phones etc, are our lifeline of connection to others…which leads to more screen time!

I can remember my parents always telling me too much TV would give me square eyes! Today I think most of us would have square eyes! Not through too much TV, it would be an accumulation of TV, computers, phones, tablets or laptops. How many of us switch from watching tv to then going on our phones…tablets…iPads or even watching tv and also using our phones and tablets. So easy to fall into the social media trap of having to check people’s stories and links…which leads to more screen time. Writing my blog everyday is screen time.

I bet if you actually add up the hours / how many times a day we actually pick up and use our devices it would be shocking!

I really need to change my screen time habits!

It has almost become an obsession!

Last week on my iPad alone I was averaging 4hrs 19 minutes a day and around 1 hour 4 minutes on my phone, that is not including my computer…this is a ridiculous amount of time spent looking at a screen …No wonder I am suffering from fatigue and headaches!

So with that IPad down and off to the beach with Toby to sit by Mary’s shell watching and listening to the sea

Love just sitting watching the waves almost dancing…jumping in the air and unfurling into beads of white froth

The sea is so mesmerising!

After I have sat for quite sometime we head off through the park wher even the seagulls are finding it a little windy as they are being pulled across the sky also having trouble making a steady landing.

The trees are nearly bear as their leaves have been stripped

Back home I have a couple of Zoom meetings which I have limited my time between them so not to overload myself.

I am a little fatigued after my last one and take myself off to chill in my craft room.

I paint an abstract kinda watercolour but concentration is low and I am just not in the mood, so me and hubby sit and watch Tipping Point…How I love this game show ❤️